riddle me this

When a marriage fails in contemporary Christian circles, the woman often gets the blame: usurping the husband’s authority, not being submissive enough, reversing the roles in the marriage, WHATEVER.

Meanwhile, these same people teach that the husband is the one who is to rule over the family.

How is it that the woman has absolutely no say in her marriage, yet everything is her fault anyway?  How is it that the husband is the one who supposedly rules, yet the success/failure of the marriage rests on the wife’s shoulders?


About razorbackmama

I'm a 36yo woman who loves Jesus, my husband of 16 years, and my 7 precious children. We homeschool the older 5 (formally, anyway!). We attend a nondenominational, non-charismatic church.
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9 Responses to riddle me this

  1. When you find the book that says, “Men — here is how you are to lead your family, and if you do it wrong you are sinning.” I’ll buy it.

    I’ve got 4,592 of those books that say, “Women — you are to be submissive no matter what, and if you aren’t you are sinning” books on my shelf right now.

    Acutally — i’m kidding… I gave all my “Women – woe is the” books away on Paper Back Swap. LOL I’m done with reading marriage books.

    So — are you trying to tell us something?

  2. Wise move, Jennifer! Just stick with the Bible rather than a ton of books that tell you what the Bible REALLY says, and you’ll be doing great!

    This was all just an observance based on stuff I am continually seeing. :-(

  3. Julie in Ohio says:

    Because the conservative “experts” want to have their cake and eat it too.

    Talk about illogical.

  4. Ron says:

    Great rhetorical question. Definitely makes its point :)

  5. Lawanda says:

    I don’t see that around here much, truthfully. But I tell ya what. When a marriage goes wrong, there is rarely a truly “innocent” party. IMO.

  6. Barbara says:

    complete and total intenet phenon with pocket of that weirdness in real life in certain areas

    RARELY in person, have i ever witnessed that attitude but it’s ALL.OVER.THE.INTERNET

  7. Dawn says:

    I’m not sure if there is never an innocent party. People make choices. You cannot blame someone else for your choices. You have to take responsibility for them. I think a lot of women blame themselves (and it does seem that there is this HUGE internet world that believes this) b/c they weren’t this or that or whatever. But in truth, in the end, the man is ultimately responsible. God will hold him accountable. Period.

  8. Zan says:

    “When you find the book that says, “Men — here is how you are to lead your family, and if you do it wrong you are sinning.” I’ll buy it. ”

    You don’t see books like that because no one would read it. Books that criticize men don’t sell well. Women are their own worst enemy and also think they can control everything. So, if you tell them that they can be the primary ones to positively affect their marriage, than they will do anything to do that, including reading every stupid book out there.

    Another thing, men are usually too busy to read self help books. My husband sure doesn’t. If I bought him a “how to be a better husband father book” he would be insulted and very hurt.


  9. jenn says:

    hey keer, great question. i’m so thankful my hubby is my hubby!

    i tagged you on my blog in a creative meme. :D