Purposeful Parenting
I'm not sure where I've been the past eleven years. I guess I've been somewhat asleep at the wheel or something. But I got smacked upside the head with a revelation the other day.
I need to parent on purpose.
Now, that may be a no-brainer for many of you, but the phrase "purposeful parenting" just sort of hit me, and it has given me lots to think about!
What do I mean by that anyway? I think mostly it means that I have to do certain things to make sure they happen. I can't just expect them to happen. For example, when I look back on my childhood, it's filled with all sorts of neat memories: feeding the ducks at the park, climbing the coal pile in my grandparents' backyard (even though we weren't supposed to...oops), going to Sea World, walking down the street to my dad's work to visit him, catching fireflies and putting them in a jar. I want my children's childhoods to be equally filled with great family memories too. Except it hit me that I can't just expect those memories to happen...I need to be proactive and make them happen. I need to step out a bit and arrange for them. Certainly neat adventures can occur even without our planning, but some things, like neat trips, need to be arranged ahead of time. And I need to actually do that now and then.
Granted, 3 1000-mile-plus moves do lend to "adventure," but a little variety now and then would be nice. 
It does get a bit tricky though...let's face it, just going to the movies with 6 children costs a small fortune. And what doesn't cost a lot moneywise can simply be a hassle or at the very least, extremely difficult to maneuver, when you have 6 children ages 11 down to almost 11 months.
Yet I'm being convicted more and more that I need to actively pursue these things. I need to seek out ways to engage my children and find things to encourage happy memories. I want them to look back on their childhood with fondness. So I need to do things on purpose, rather than living in constant survival mode. I do not want them to look back and think, "Wow, Mom and Dad were pretty much strung out all the time." 
I'd love to hear some ideas for creating memorable moments in your family! They may or may not work for us (for example, reading aloud is always a huge flop around here...my kids are just no fun when it comes to that ROFLOL), but they might spark some ideas for me, or they might work for someone else to read! So please share!
Carla wrote,
Picnics in interesting locations are always a hit here. We have a “beach” (using that term lightly, but the kids still like it) at a Provincial Park that our kids like. We try to go one or two times a summer with a picnic lunch. We may just go to a nice park and have a picnic a few times a year, too.
Another thing we did once was a pyjama run out for ice cream (just McDonalds sundaes). Of course you need to make sure that aren’t going to have someone freaking out that their pyjamas are ging to be seen, so doing this during weather that they can wear coats can help. It was a HUGE hit here and much cheaper than going out for a meal.
I’m going to check back because I’d love more ideas!!
Link | May 9th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Park days. Doing even a little bit of school at Perkins/Dennys. Sure with 6 kids it would be a hassle, but it would be worth it I think. My girlies love it.
Family bike rides.
Family walks.
I don’t know how often (if ever) you eat fast food and order kids meals, but some give coupons for the treat. We save those coupons and then walk for the treat.
Let’s see….dancing to a fun/funny song.
Family game night.
Dinner and a movie. (even if it is VeggieTales or something) Our girlies love those too.
Link | May 9th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Tracy wrote,
I’m so there right with you! It’s not easy doing that is it? I’ve had very similar revelations myself lately…now if I can just find some free time this summer would be nice. lol
Link | May 9th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
~*~ Jennifer ~*~ wrote,
HEY — immediately I thought of this while reading your post.
I can’t remember the name of this… but — you go hunting for “stamps”. I’ll go google it… brb.
FOUND IT!!
http://www.letterboxing.org/
It’s called letterboxing. I always have wanted to start this with my own family. When I went to visit my dad and mom once (in Loveland)… I looked ahead of time… and you have ALL KINDS of places for letter boxing in CO. It would be FUN! (I think)
Well — what ever you choose… enjoy, and create great memories! °Ü°
Link | May 10th, 2008 at 5:54 am
TulipGirl wrote,
You’re right. . . it’s not just the financial cost, but the ENERGY cost of things! Even when keeping the attitude of “kids are portable,” it can be hard. Some things that work for us include. . .
1. Planning ahead. Not that it always works. Our plan to drive to the Tampa Museum of Art and go to the campus bookstore (the real purpose of the drive to Tampa) was thwarted today. But still, planning ahead makes things more likely to happen than saying, “We should do something as a family this Saturday. . .”
2. Taking just one or two kids on errands with Mommy. (Or Daddy.) We always include a special treat. Sometimes it is just a trip to the grocery store and sharing an Arizona Green Tea while we shop and letting the helper(s) help choose things at the store. Other times it is more fun–like our recent trip to B&N for the two youngers to spend their gift cards from an Uncle. (Btw, h/sers can ask for an educator discount card–which is 20% off!)
3. Like Carla said, Jammy Rides are a hit!
4. Seasonal traditions. Especially low key ones, like driving around looking at Christmas lights and while listening to Christmas carols on the radio.
5. Like JB said, family walks and hikes. We’ve never been able to do family bike rides, but walks around the neighborhood are still enjoyed.
6. I like reading aloud (when I don’t fall asleep.) But if that doesn’t work for your family, another thing I’ve done is have all the kids pile in bed with me and snuggle and stay up late watching a movie. (This works especially when I’m exhausted. . . ’cause I can drift off asleep!)
7. Having a family membership to something local. This past year it was the Tampa Museum of Art ($50 for a year for the family–not bad!) Last year it was G-Wiz kids’ science museum. In Texas it was the Children’s Museum–and that was WONDERFUL for the hot, hot west Texas days.
8. I wish we went to the beach more often. I know when we move we’ll regret that we didn’t spend every weekend by the water. . .
Link | May 10th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
sarah wrote,
hi cousin! i’m so the worst at planning outings and such, and i’d be even more terrible if i had 6 kids, but just thought i’d chime in for a minute…
definitely plan one-on-one ‘dates’ with your kids…you and bobby both…or two-on-one as the case may sometimes need be with your crew. and as they get older, bobby can help the boys plan fun creative ‘dates’ for you and the girls and vice-versa.
also, do research in your area and see what museums/zoos etc. have year-round passes and ask the grandparents for those as christmas and birthday gifts instead of whatever they usually do. for example…if we got a zoo pass, a wild river country pass and a discovery museum pass here in LR, it would still only average out to $20 a month for our family. granted, we can only go to wwc for three months out of the year, but for $20 a month, you can’t really beat that many options of ‘things to do.’
and, about movies…if you haven’t tried the redbox at mcdonalds yet, you ABSOLUTELY MUST. and, check online at www.redbox.com because some of them are even located outside the mcdonalds so you don’t even have to contend with actually going into the restaurant with your kiddos. also, you can even go ahead and reserve your dvd online so all you have to do once you get to the box is swipe your credit/debit card. you can’t beat the redbox…$1 a night per dvd. and, you can get one night free with the promo code ‘breakroom’ but not with rentals reserved online.
oh, and thanks for the invite you sent me on FB to the message board. i will look into it.
have fun making family memories!
Link | May 14th, 2008 at 1:08 am
TulipGirl wrote,
OT. . .
You’ve been tagged!
http://www.tulipgirl.com/index.php/2008/05/if-you-came-to-our-house/
Link | May 27th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Melinda wrote,
Hey, I found you online again; what a treat! And now you have SIX! Woohoo! We’ve found that anything we can do with each child individually is beneficial, even if it’s running errands to the grocery store and letting them pick out a special soft drink or juice. Mine are all really into certain movie series and board games, so when we watch a family movie in our small living room, all lights go out, popcorn is made, etc. Much cheaper than the huge $$$ it costs to go out. So how’ve you been?
Link | June 10th, 2008 at 5:42 am