(This is for ladies who visit from HK...if that's not you, I apologize since I'm sure you'll be totally lost!)

I'd like to begin by saying that I am grieved that I even have to do this. I had hoped that there would be some form of private reconciliation, and I attempted to encourage that. However, it's very difficult to come to the proverbial table to discuss things when the other party never shows up. :-( Since I have given it sufficient time, I feel that I must move forward and shed light on what all really went on, since I have received lots of questions about it. I believe there have been several misconceptions about the situation, and they need to be cleared up.

1. Were you surprised to find yourself banned from HK?

Stunned is more like it. I received no warning whatsoever that it was even a possibility. I had been involved in a "hot" thread (despite my attempts to dilute the "hotness") which was then removed from public viewing. I thought that would be the end of it. But then I received an e-mail from the admins stating that I seemed unhappy at HK and that I should probably find a message board that suits my needs better.

2. What all went on "behind the scenes" that caused you to be banned?

I have had one friend say that based on what was posted publicly at HK, she figured that I had gotten riled up behind the scenes and that was why I had been banned. When it was announced that I was banned, the other HK ladies were encouraged to extend grace and forgiveness for any inappropriate e-mails or PMs that they may have received. While this does not come right out and say that I had been e-mailing and PMing people inappropriately, it implies that, and based on what my friend told me, others "read" that same thing.

I was in contact with NO ONE. I had apologized to the original poster of the "hot thread" for it turning into something that I know she had not wanted it to, and I had thanked another sister for defending me when I felt like I was being dog piled on. But as far as any sort of behind the scenes scary stuff going on??? I honestly have no clue what that even is!

I know that many of the HK members were not aware of the situation...all they saw was what was posted publicly on the boards. So they were so glad to be protected from all the "ugliness" that was "behind the scenes." The problem with that is: THERE WAS NO UGLINESS BEHIND THE SCENES. There was NOTHING. There was the thread on the board...it got moved...about 12 hours later I was banned. That's it. What you ladies on the board saw was what I saw, minus the e-mail I received notifying me of my banning.

3. Well, you say that, but what was that you posted on your blog a while back about an apology?

There were some things that frustrated me on HK (as with any message board, especially one of that size), and yes, I shared those frustrations with a couple of friends through my PMs. I was wrong to do so.

4. Did you receive any warnings from HK administrators?

None. I don't think I've ever received a warning from them period, during the entire 4 years I was on the board. I definitely did not receive any warnings while the "hot thread" was going on.

5. Is it true you have a feminist agenda?

The idea that I'm promoting a feminist agenda makes me laugh. It makes my husband laugh even harder. So um, NO, that is not true.

6. Did you violate the posting guidelines?

  • I agree to keep the words and tone in my posts as befits a daughter of The King.

  • I will remember that my opinions and convictions should be able to be supported by the Bible.

  • I will keep any disagreements pleasant and will not attack another persons opinions and/or convictions.

  • I understand that this is an unapologetically Christian forum and will conduct myself accordingly.

I'm sure I probably flubbed up on point #1 from time to time, just as everyone has. But the other 3 points...nope. In fact, point #2 is one that I am particular passionate about. If the Bible cannot support what I believe, then I change what I believe.

7. Why aren't you letting this go?

While I have forgiven and moved on, I believe that it is important for the truth to be told, especially when people have been misled. Comments from people I've been in contact with have shown me that the truth was NOT told to the other HK members, and so I want to remedy that.

8. Didn't the admins talk with you afterward?

Only two admins joined my Yahoo group that I started in an attempt to discuss this matter, and one was no mail. After I got banned, I received one reply from the admins, and that left me scratching my head, so I replied to IT. I have heard nothing since.

9. The admins have said several times that you were banned not because of that thread but because of ongoing tensions.

That is what I have been told as well. They said that it was because I repeatedly tried to "correct" perceived "false teachings" on submission. I know that while I was still on the board I went back and searched for posts in which I did that but couldn't find any. In fact, I found the opposite. I would go back and do more searches, but I can't. ;-) I have asked for proof of this, but I haven't been provided any.

Also, I have never once been contacted privately about these "corrections" (whatever they are).

10. But you sent around a PM a few months back saying that you expected to be banned, didn't you?

No. I sent a PM to some ladies once I realized that I would not be able to agree to the moderators being able to delete posts at will with no notification. The announcement said that it would be for all forums, so I assumed that that meant "all forums" and that since I couldn't agree to it, I would be asked to leave. As it turned out, agreeing to that thread gained members access to the controversial forum, so not having access was the only ramification to not signing. (Which turned out to be such a positive thing!!!) But at the time I was just going by what the post said: "all forums." So I wanted to give some ladies my contact info. just in case I disappeared suddenly one day, whenever the admins cleaned house (which they never did).

Apparently THIS may have been part of the "ongoing tensions"?????? I honestly have no idea, but I wanted to clear that up as well. The admins should know that it ISN'T part of the "ongoing tensions" though because I had several PMs saved in my box between other ladies and me clarifying exactly these points, and since the admins read my inbox, I know they saw them.

Feel free to ask any more questions. I will answer them to the best of my ability (since not even I know all of the answers!). I hope that the ladies who are scared to communicate with me (there are 2 in particular that I thought wanted to remain in contact with me until things started to be posted about me on the board :-( ) won't be. My only desire is for the truth to be shared, NOT to malign a group of ladies that I was a part of for the past 4 years.

ETA: If you have a question but are afraid of the ramifications on the HK board if you do, please feel free to post anonymously here.  Again, my goal is for the TRUTH to be shared.