One common question I see often on the internet (on blogs, on message boards, you name it) is:

Where are all the Titus Two women? 

Younger ladies are looking for someone to teach them what Titus 2 says they should:

Tit 2:3-5
(3)  Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment as becomes those engaged in sacred service, not slanderers or slaves to drink. They are to give good counsel and be teachers of what is right and noble,
(4)  So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children,
(5)  To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited).

They aren't seeing any in their churches or families (even Christian ones).  The women that are there do not qualify.

I'm beginning to wonder if that is actually the case.

I can think of one woman in my life in the past.  She is about the age of my mom, and she was one of my "moms" when we lived in Oklahoma.  Her grown children serve the Lord (I believe one is a pastor???).  She and her husband have been married for well over 30 years.  They are both active in their church and are just LOVELY people.

However, for a long time I felt she did not "qualify" as a Titus Two woman (and I'm not talking about as a formal mentor either, just as an informal "I can learn from this woman" friendship) because:

  • She worked full-time.
  • Her children went to public school (when they were young enough to be in school).
  • I believe her children dated.
  • I can't remember specifics, but when I'd talk to her, the way she raised her children sounded very "child-centered" to my way of thinking at the time.
  • They chose to only have 2 children.

And so on and so forth.

I see this ALL OVER (and have been well-entrenched in this thinking myself).  Younger women bemoan the "lack of Titus Two women" based on a certain set of criteria for what that Titus Two woman should look.  Nevermind the fact that as an older woman with grown children, she has, in fact, met the biblical criteria: she and her husband are still happily married, her children love the Lord, she serves the Lord, she conducts herself in a holy manner, etc.  But since a woman doesn't match what WE think, we decide that she is not "Titus Two material."

Um, aren't WE supposed to be learning from THEM????

This may be a purely internet phenomenon.  What I've seen is since certain local wise women are being written off, younger ladies are turning to older women they don't know on the internet.  These older ladies tell them things that sound great and biblical (and I'm not saying the advice isn't), but we have no idea how the older women conduct themselves in real life.  We have no idea what their grown children are like.  We have no idea how happy their marriages TRULY are.  What I'm afraid is happening is that we are trading what the Bible says the qualifications are of a Titus Two woman for what WE think the qualifications are.  And as with any other area we think we know better than the Bible, this is dangerous ground to be walking on.

I pray that as I get to know a new group of ladies here, I will not automatically discount wise women based on what is right in my own eyes.

P.S. I'm not talking about asking a woman who never homeschooled for homeschooling advice - that wouldn't make any sense!  I wouldn't ask a woman who never breastfed for latching-on advice either. LOL!  I'm talking about things like marriage, child-rearing, etc. - women get discounted because the way they did it (which apparently WORKED) is different than what we think is "right."