Fulfillment as a Woman
Molly has written a thought-proking post. Not sure what to think about it. All I know is that right or wrong, I have felt (and still feel) the exact. Same. Way.
Keer “Unplugged”
Where I spare my poor husband from listening to my rantings, where I share what is on my heart, where I share about my family, where I share about my God.
Hannah Im wrote,
Me too!
Link | August 27th, 2006 at 4:14 am
Hi.
My religious beliefs may be somewhat different from yours. But I’ll throw out my opinion anyway. I think Molly’s post is right on target. Each of us (full time mamas) has made a choice that here and now, in this season of life, home is where we are needed. It is the right choice for us, perhaps made with His guidance. But it is not a 100% happy and fulfilling experience. Parts of it are wonderful and fulfilling. Parts are not. Sometimes we second guess ourselves (I do, anyway) and wonder whther this is the right thing. I believe these things are true in *any* job or calling. I think it’s O.K. to acknowledge our ambivalent feelings and our frustrations, while trying to focus on the positive aspects of our choice and our commitment. I hope this makes sense.
Link | August 27th, 2006 at 7:30 am
molly wrote,
Keerinator…
I’ve always struggled with this, until recently. I’m starting to wonder if not *feeling* 100% fulfilled is…perfectly okay. You know? I mean, Paul in 1 Corinthians 15 was talking about how Christians, if they were wrong, were the most miserable people of all (IF, of course, it wasn’t true), because we are supposed to be servants of God, not living for ourselves but living our lives for other people’s benefit. A vernacular translation could read: IF this world is all there is, then the pleasure-loving people got it right, and we were stupid stupid stupid!
Meaning…I don’t think Paul felt 100% fulfilled and satisfied with what his life was like. (Think about it: shipwrecks, beatings, starving, etc)… Yet he was 100% satisfied in Jesus and DID find fulfillment in Him. But that doesn’t translate into feeling 100% fulfilled in his practical day to day life.
So I don’t think it should for me, either. I mean, I don’t have to GRUMP about it to my family– lol — and put on the martyr robe so that everyone can know I’m sacrificing myself for them all (because that’s wrong, but also because I think my husband is doing just as much sacrificing, his is just in a different way)…
But being a wife and mother isn’t quite all I was made for. I wouldn’t have a blog or even be typing here if it completely fulfilled me, you know?
Link | August 27th, 2006 at 9:09 am
whimsy wrote,
Thanks for the heads up on a great post.
Link | August 27th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
Tracy wrote,
I know I’m weird in that I’m very happy at home. LOL I know I could NEVER be a career person–that’s just me I guess. I like being home, raising my kids (that IS why I had them–not for a daycare, etc. to raise) and all that. And I do think it puts more stress on a growing/young family with 2 working parents.
BUT I too struggle with what more I could do? What if I didn’t have kids, what would I do with my time? I have other things I like, interests, etc. But I prefer to find ways to use them around my family, not at the expensive of it. I may not be 100% fullfilled now like Molly mentioned (that actually sounds like a myth anyway. LOL) but I AM satisfied with my life and wouldn’t want to change it too drastically.
Link | August 27th, 2006 at 8:54 pm
Amanda wrote,
Good stuff, Molly - and thanks, Keer for giving the heads up!
I dunno, IS there really such a thing as being “100% fulfilled” here on this earth? I LOVE being a wife and a mother, and at this moment I have no real desire to be anywhere else, but the words “wife/mom” certainly do not adequately describe who I AM. God created me - he gave me talents, gifts, desires, strengths, weaknesses, all wrapped up in this package called Amanda, and yes, at this moment that package is called to this place of being a mom-at-home. But I think it would be pretty…I don’t know the word - shortsighted maybe? - to say that being a wife/mother is the ONLY fulfillment God ever intended for a woman. We have only to look to the Bible to see that. I’m getting longwinded here - guess I’d better go blog about this!
Blessings, and thanks for getting us thinking!
Amanda
Link | August 27th, 2006 at 9:03 pm
I think for me it is all boiling down to getting rid of some more of those “voices” - those ones saying things like, “It’s not right for you to want to go back to school since your sole purpose in life is to be a wife and a mother.” “If you find cleaning house boring, then you in sin.” Etc. I’ve been surrounded by that sort of thinking and those voices for several years now (didn’t grow up with them, so at least I have that going for me LOL!), and I’m finally breaking free from them. It *is* OK if I want to go back to school, and especially if *GASP AND HORRORS* it is for some sort of biblical studies degree. (No, I’m not going to become a pastor or anything.
)
I’m still working through just how God created me and wired me, and I have to say, it’s been sort of frustrating these past 8ish years or so as I’ve tried to fit my square sides through the round hole called Conservative Christian Womanhood. But I’m realizing that there might be a square hole with the same name.
Have no fear, I’m not going to put my kids in school or go to work. But I just might go back to school and finish my degree, but without all the false guilt that has been following me around for so long.
Link | August 27th, 2006 at 10:54 pm
Julie G. wrote,
You got that right, Keer. I don’t fit in that hole either and I’m getting tired of trying to squeeze myself into it. Ditch the false guilt sister, ‘cuz I’m working on doing the same.
– Julie in Ohio
Link | August 28th, 2006 at 10:50 am
Tracy wrote,
Keer, weren’t you the one that talked about women shouldn’t have careers, but the same women who tout that always used female only midwives and OBs? LOL I think that makes a good point…there ARE things we women should be able to do if we choose. And we CAN do those things if we work it around our family such as waiting until they are older/grown, or within a schedule that works alongside our family.
And I used to not mind cleaning the house until I had 3 kids who mess it up too fast. ROFL
Link | August 28th, 2006 at 11:52 am
TulipGirl wrote,
I think Molly brings up a *very* good point when she asks, “if excercising a woman’s mind will make her discontent with being a wife and mother, then might that tell us that something is wrong either with our perception of being a wife and mother”?
As the Lord leads our family along paths I never anticipated, I’ve had to admit to myself that I raised my ideals higher than the Word of God, and at times mistook for God’s Word what were really my misperceptions or biases. . .
Humbling, isn’t it? Growing up and learning and realizing that maybe I hadn’t really understood as much as I thought I did along the way?
Link | August 28th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
TulipGirl wrote,
(Not to lessen the value or importance of mothering and wifing and ministering within the family. . . But I just assume you assume that about my words. *grin*)
Link | August 28th, 2006 at 4:28 pm