Oprah on Marriage
I saw the show that Stacy Harp refers to here, and I couldn't agree more with Stacy's assertions.
At one point, Oprah said something like, "That's why I could never get married." Um yeah. But it's OK to just live with a guy.
Not only all of that, but Oprah had the audacity to say that to get cold feet was a little whisper (forgive me if I can't remember exactly what she called it, but it was something like that), and that little whisper was god. WHOA. Now, I do believe that sometimes people don't need to be marrying, but to say that ANYTIME you get cold feet, it's god telling you not to get married????
I do agree with the premise that we can't "lose ourselves" when we get married, and I do think that there is WAY too much emphasis placed on the wedding than on preparing for marriage. But Oprah gave the impression that marriage is a prison and the woman needs to "find herself" before she marries or the marriage is doomed. (All this from a person who has never married, mind you.)
Hogwash.
Genesis 2:24 - For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
God ordained marriage, and really, it's not about us anyway. It's all about Him.
Stacy L .Harp wrote,
Amen Sister! “Oprah” bugs me
Link | May 9th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
dollymama wrote,
Sadly, there aren’t a lot of really good marriages “out there” for people to see. So many people get divorced, and many of the ones that aren’t are unhappy. I think marriage becomes something that looks very unappealing to people.
Link | May 12th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
TulipGirl wrote,
I disagree that cold feet is “God’s voice”–but I do think it is really important to give credence to cold feet. . . I’ve known a several couples who didn’t think they could stop the wedding once preparations had reached a certain point, when they likely should have waited or not gotten married at all. . .
Link | May 15th, 2006 at 6:23 pm
Oh me too. My husband was one of them. Had he gone through with the wedding, we never would have happened.
Link | May 15th, 2006 at 7:23 pm
Kristy wrote,
Amen! I have heard that bit about women needing to “find themselves.” *Rolls eyes*
Like your new blog, btw!:)
Link | May 19th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
Dana wrote,
I suppose it would depend on whether the cold feet are due to the more natural concerns of transition and “am I really ready?” type thoughts or if they are due to a recognition that this truly isn’t right.
Some people rush right in and never had cold feet, but still probably shouldn’t have married. It pains me that the divorce rate is the same in the Christian Church as it is in the general population. Perhaps the Christian is a little more likely to get married as opposed to indefinite cohabitation which might skew the statistics slightly, but still. That is a sorry testimony to the world and gives us little right to tell anyone how to discern a good marriage.
Link | May 21st, 2006 at 10:57 pm
I hear ya Dana! Part of the Oprah show that I liked was how they talked about how so much of a focus is on the wedding rather than the marriage, and that is definitely the case within Christian circles as well. And I also think that Christians tend to think that because they are Christians they are immune from the normal trials of marriage, and when those trials come up, they freak.
Link | May 21st, 2006 at 11:10 pm