Archive for March, 2006
Our chore system
I think we may finally have one that works for our family. We're still getting into the groove of it, but it is working much better (by far) than anything else we've ever done.
First I'll start with myself (since my kids' chore system depends upon mine). I tried Flylady, and kudos to anyone her system works for. But it doesn't for me. I never could get beyond my shiny sink, and since that's supposedly where you're supposed to start...well...use your imagination.
At one point in time, I had a decent-looking house. Sure, it was 3 kids ago, and it was when my dh had normal working hours, but I also had a chore system in place that worked. Why I stopped using it, I have no idea. But that's beside the point.
What was it? The original card system outlined in Sidetracked Home Executives by Pam Young and Peggy Jones. (They have a newer book out that outlines a similar, but "improved," system, but I could tell right off that it wouldn't work for me!)
I sat down and came up with a list of chores for each room in the house. This took a long time, and I had to keep coming back to it to add more, but finally it was done. I listed the chore, how often I wanted it done (daily, every other day, weekly, biweekly, monthly, bimonthly, seasonally, semi-annually, or annually), and how long it should take to do the job. Then I went through all of those jobs and wrote each job on a separate index card. Pam and Peggy's method calls for different-colored cards, but I just went with white.
These cards go in an index card file. I bought some blank tabbed dividers and labeled them 1-31 and then Jan.-Dec. The month dividers are in the back. Then I started putting my cards in the file according to when they needed to be done. As I come to each new day, I do those cards and then file them in the appropriate place when I'm done.
For jobs that don't get done, Pam and Peggy have a different system than I do. But all I do is just file them away for the next time I will have time to do them. The perfectionist in me hates to do this (I am an all-or-nothing gal, and so if I don't think I can do it all the way, I don't do it at all!), but once I realized that even getting around to these jobs SOMETIME is more often than they are getting done currently, I felt so free!!! Life happens, so I don't stress it if I don't get the cobwebs vacuumed in the schoolroom on a particular day.
OK so that is my system. On any of those cards that my kids can do, I wrote their names on those cards. I did have to finagle quite a bit to make things "fair." Only the older 3 (ages almost 9, 7.5, and 5.5) have jobs right now. The almost 9yo does things like clean the toilet, clean the bathtub, vacuum the rug in the living room, etc. The 7.5yo has several dusting jobs, sweep the front sidewalk, straighten bookshelves, etc. The 5.5yo swiffers the floor, cleans the front of the stove and dishwasher, cleans the bathroom mirrors, etc. So on all of the chores that are in MY file, I wrote their names on those cards.
Then everyday I put them in their card pockets:
The top pocket has their name and "To Do", and the bottom pocket has "DONE!" on it. I made it using those little pockets that go in library books, for when they used to use date due slips LOL. (Got them at an educational supply store.) So everyday, those cards are in their pockets waiting for them.
We have a particular chore time during the day, when everyone is doing chores. They come to the pocket, pull one out, and go off to do the chore. When they are done, the put it in the done pocket and do the next one. At the end of the day I look at the ones that they have done and "pay" them.
Ah...pay. Such a controversial subject! LOL! We have decided to pay them for their work (some parents feel that chores are part of a family and therefore the child should not be paid...that is FINE...just not what we have chosen to do). But I didn't want to have to keep track of anything, and I didn't want to have to dole out money every day. So I pay them in poker chips. I have a bowl for each child, and each chip is worth a nickel. So everyday I dole out their chips.
When I run out of chips (typically once a week), I trade the chips for cash. At that time I help them separate out their tithe for giving, 10% for saving (as in, they will never touch this money until they are well into their teens or beyond), and the rest for spending. I recently got them all a Larry Burkett Giving Bank, with the 3 sections, and I LOVE them! So they've been earning roughly $1-2 per week (depending on how motivated they are
).This is working SO WELL. My dh could notice a difference in our house the first week I implemented this new system. We still are struggling on Saturdays. That seems to be our "relaxing" day, but it should be the day that we do some pretty heavy-duty chores. I haven't figured out a way around that yet. But as I said, even just the things we ARE doing, even though they aren't all what I'm wanting to do, is more than what we WERE doing. So that makes it worth it.
Something I don’t understand….
I hear conservative Christian women talk all the time about how the woman's place is in the home, period. If she is married she is supposed to be at home, and if she is unmarried she is to be at home, under her father's authority. Either way...at home.
Yet these same women refuse to see a male doctor and will only see female doctors.
Anyone else notice an inconsistency here?????
(I'm not saying either one is right/wrong; I'm just pointing out the inconsistency.)
What Kind of Soda Am I?
You Are Coke 
A true original and classic, you represent the best of everything you can offer.
Just the right amount of sweet, just the right amount of energy... you're the life of the party.Your best soda match: Mountain DewStay away from:Dr Pepper
GASP!!! Stay away from Dr. Pepper?????? Are they NUTS???
Playing the Bad Guy
A while back I noticed that C always wanted to act out the bad guy's part whenever he was pretending something. Green Goblin from Spiderman, Darth Vader, Doc Ock...he always was the bad guy! I grew concerned: "What is his fettish with evil characters?" "Does he think being bad is more 'exciting' than being good?" Etc.
Finally I asked him. "C, why do you like being the bad guy?" He gave me this "DUH" look. "They have cool helmets."
I had to admit, he's right. The good guys always have normal-looking costumes. But the monsters and bad guys - they have elaborate, high-tech costumes. They are also usually much more interesting characters. WHEW.
Well, this is what I overheard today. G and C were playing Star Wars with their Legos.
C (in some sort of strange voice): Why are you joining the dark side?
G: I'm not joining the dark side. I'm just putting on a different helmet.
That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?
Pure and Undefiled Religion
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to say, "Amen, Praise the Lord," often; to only listen to hymns; and to leave a tract with a small tip for the waitress when you go out to eat.
Hmmmm that doesn't sound quite right, does it? Yet it seems that that's pretty much how western Christians practice their "religion" these days.
When I first read Chautona's post about the appearance of godliness, I agreed with some and disagreed with some. But the more I thought about it, and the more I looked around, I see what she is trying to say.
I went to church with people who wouldn't have considered doing many of the things that my parents did. They would never have smoked or swore, but neither would they have sweated and sustained the lost and hurting. I went to churches where the congregation barely tolerated the 'lesser members'... but those so called lesser members showed a love and devotion to Christ and the world that the rest of the church could learn from and emulate.
My point? I am tired of the self-righteous attitude that so much of the church emulates today. Myself included. There is a code of ethics, silent but demanding, that permeates the church. Some of it is Biblical, much of it is pharisaical. I know the temptation to ignore the needs of someone who irritates me but the satisfaction in knowing someone is aware of my devotion to Christ. How pathetic. How very pathetic.
Carla posted some similar thoughts about her dad. She's not sure he actually was a believer, but the point of her post was that he acted more like what a believer should act like than many believers.
I have come across a few blog posts recently that caused me to REALLY start thinking about this. People are questioning the salvation of other people on the basis of what they do or don't do. One was talking about President Bush and how he said that he opposes abortion except in the case of rape, incest, or the life of the mother. The blogger said something along the lines of, "You call yourself a Christian, BUT...." I have no idea if President Bush truly is or not (I think he is, but I don't know him personally. And besides, that's not even the issue.), but I find it troubling that his salvation is being questioned simply because of a statement he made. Other examples I've seen recently are things like apparel, music, movie-watching, etc. The people essentially were saying that it's doubtful that so&so is truly saved because they do/do not do a particular thing.
Now, I'm sure someone will probably misunderstand me. I am NOT saying that you can believe whatever you want to believe. I'm not saying you can live however you want to live. God calls believers to personal holiness. However, "personal holiness" encompasses a lot more than the type of music you listen to, the clothes you wear, the words you use, and who you hang out with.
True believers bear fruit. We hear it all the time. (Because it's true, and that is what the Bible says.) However, the fruits of the Spirit are not: sharing "prayer requests" (that are really gossip in disguise), avoidance of children's church, not using birth control, being in church every time the doors are open, being aghast at women who wear pants, and leaving Chick tracts everywhere.
Galatians 5:22-23:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, self-control;James 1:26-27:
If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless.
Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.I know it's cliche', but what would Jesus do? We hear that a lot, and I've heard lots of things that people say Jesus would have done/not done. Jesus hung out with prostitutes. He ate dinner at tax collectors' homes. He humbled Himself and washed some dirty, nasty feet. Yet we come up with excuse after excuse as to why we need to be "separate" and not do these same things. And about people who DO do these things? "And you call yourself a Christian??????"
The context is somewhat different, but the principle is still the same:
Luke 11:42:
But woe to you Pharisees! For you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.We should strive for personal holiness in the things we say, see, hear, and do, and we should not be like the world. But we need to make sure that in doing these things, we do not neglect showing love to a lost and dying world. And sometimes that will require that we get a little grungy and uncomfortable in the process.
Related Tags: Christianity, separation, hypocrisy
Congratulations
Congrats to Amy at Amy's Humble Musings on the birth of her new son!!!
Fun Meme/Quiz/Whatever-You-Want-To-Call-It
Copy and fill in yourself, if you’d like. Put an X in where it’s true. Leave the other blank.
[ ] I’m afraid of the quiet. I have 5 kids. Quiet is my best friend.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I’m afraid of the dark.
[x] I’m afraid of facing my back to open doors at night. Depends on if dh is home or not. If he's home I'm fine, but if he's not, I HATE having my back to the door.
[x] I believe in true love. You bet I do!
[ ] I’ve ran away from home. Ahem, it's "I've RUN away from home." LOL
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I’m sad. Depends on the situation.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret.
[x] I watch the news. When I can catch it.
[ ] I own more than 5 rap CDs…
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic
[ ] I love Disney movies.
[x] I’m a sucker for blue eyes. Since I have blue eyes and most of my kiddos do NOT (they have Daddy's eyes), yes I'm thrilled once one of them has blue eyes like me.
[ ] I don’t kill bugs.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[ ] I have “x”s in my screen name.
[ ] I’ve slipped out an “lol” in actual conversation. No, but I have THOUGHT it LOL!
[ ] I love spam.
[x] I bake well. But I don't necessarily ENJOY baking.
[ ] I have worn pajamas to class.
[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[ ] I have a job.
[x] I love Martha Stewart. Well, I like her STUFF.
[x] I’ve tried alcohol.
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[x] I’ve tried a cigarette.
[ ] I’ve smoked a pack in one day.
[ ] I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I’ve been out of this country. Germany, Belgium, and Canada
[ ] I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.
[x] I love chocolate. OF COURSE!
[x] I bite my nails. *sigh*
[ ] I’m comfortable with being myself around EVERYONE.
[x] I play computer games when I’m bored. Ya caught me!
[ ] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Seen a shooting star
[ ] Had a serious surgery
[x] Hugged and/or kissed a stranger ACK ACK ACK - memories I'd rather forget
[ ] Been arrested
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator just to say I’ve done it
[ ] Made out in an elevator
[ ] Swore at my parents
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Gotten stitches Childbirth anyone? LOL
[ ] Bitten someone
[x] Crashed into a car Strangely I've never crashed into anything MOVING.
[x] Shoplifted Stole a pack of gum when I was about 4-5
[x] Been fired
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back Oh my yes.
[ ] Stolen money/profitable items from work
[ ] Stolen supplies from work
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach
[ ] Slept with a co-worker
[x] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Saw someone/something dying
[x] Been to Canada
[x] Been on a plane
[ ] Thrown up in a bar LOL I've never been TO a bar.
Bizarre Birthdays
Found this at Shades of Pink:
Find your birthday on the list of bizarre holidays and blog about it! Here are ours:
Me - Evaluate Your Life Day
Dh - Kindergarten Day
G - I Am In Control Day
C - National Spumoni Day (had to look up spumoni: An Italian ice cream having layers of different colors or flavors and often containing fruits and nuts)
L - National Fried Chicken Day
J - Look Alike Day
S - Crush A Can Day
My mom - Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day
My dad - Be Bald and Free Day and National Dessert Day
My sister - National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
