I've come across a couple of blogposts recently that really strike a chord with me, and I thought it interesting how well they "jive." Patrick at Tent Pegs discusses legalism and how it "looks":

Legalism is not a love of the law. It is not wanting to do the right thing to please Jesus. Legalism is saying that you must have Jesus AND.... or that you can't have Jesus UNTIL... and then placing barriers around the would-be disciple.

Meanwhile, Cindy at Dominion Family shares how it has been hard for her family to find a church because they have high standards but hate true legalism.

I have found most families to be a mixed bag of standards and very often it is hard to figure out why a family doesn't do one thing but does do another. I know from the outside that is how our family looks.

I've seen all of that in action, from both sides. I've been called legalistic because of certain standards that I have. I've been frowned upon because I have failed to meet someone else's standard. People have called me inconsistent because I'm "conservative" in some areas and "liberal" in others (which REALLY means that they agree with me in some areas but not others).

I've often heard people say that legalism means that you have to hold to some sort of standard in order to be saved. I'm not real sure about that. (Usually that comes from someone who is trying to hold someone to their standards LOL!) I've heard the talk, and unfortunately it has sometimes come out of my mouth (forgive me, Lord!!!): "She's a new believer. Once she is more mature in the faith she'll xyz." (Implying that she doesn't meet our standard because she just isn't a "good enough" Christian yet.) "The Holy Spirit hasn't revealed the truth about xyz to her yet." (As if we have the corner on The Truth about xyz.) That sort of thing doesn't doubt the person's salvation, but it sure does reek of pride and...yes...legalism. An adherence to the letter of the law while ignoring the spirit of the law. And unfortunately most of the things that people are legalistic about are things that are extrabiblical anyway, so it's not even God's law they are adhering to!

I pray that the Lord would smack me in the head when I even come close to acting like a Pharisee....