Archive for June, 2005
I apologize
I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back at my CTBHHM review. Hubby is out of town for the week (left Friday - groan), and G seems to be sick. He threw up last night, was FINE all day until he was eating supper, then felt sick again (but didn't throw up). He has a fever of 99.3.
And I have no one to help me - my nearest friend is 45 min. away.
Please pray for me during this week. I'm always so lonely without my hubby here, and it's even harder with sick kiddos. PLEASE pray that no one else gets sick - ESPECIALLY me since somehow I'll have to care for them (and I can't do that when I'm sick - BTDT and it didn't happen!).
Anyway...if I can I'll get to another chapter this week.
Feast Fifty-Two
From Friday's Feast: A Buffet for Your Brain:
(Yes, I know it's Saturday...I forgot to do this yesterday LOL!)
Appetizer
What's one word or phrase that you use a lot?
Oh my, that's tough. I have a lot that I use a lot:
Ack, "We don't hit," "Grant, STOP IT," "Flush the potty," and my hubby says I say "yet" a lot. LOL!Soup
Name something you always seem to put off until the last minute.
CleaningSalad
What was the last great bumper sticker you saw?
I honestly have no idea.Main Course
If you could be invisible for one day, how would you spend your time?
Hiding from my children. LOL!Dessert
Describe your hair.
Desperately in need of a cut. LOL! Actually it is blonde, straight, and pretty much all one length (no bangs). It is about down to my chin. It is very fine, but there is LOTS of it, so people think it's a lot thinner than it really is. Although in recent years I've been finding these "boing-boing," BLACK, COARSE hairs growing out of my head. I have no idea where they are coming from, but I pluck them right out LOL!!!
Created To Be His Help Meet - Chapter 8
This chapter I actually somewhat enjoyed. I think it's because it was based on observation rather than Mrs. Pearl's interpretation of what God's Word says. I always find it interesting how people tend to fall into different "categories."
I DO wish she had left out the part about God in her first paragraph, however.
It seems that God made each male to express one side of his triad nature. No single man completely expresses the well-rounded image of God.
It seems that she is saying that if you combine those 3 types of men, you come up with what God is like. Genesis 1:27 says "So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them." In order to come up with what God is like (His image), we need a perfect man AND a perfect woman.
But that's just a minor point and I know it's not the essence of the chapter.
My dh is a Mr. Steady with heavy Mr. Visionary undertones. He has enough Mr. Steady to frustrate the Mr. Visionary in him, and enough Mr. Visionary to frustrate the Mr. Steady in him LOL!!!
I can't really speak about how "accurate" her synopsis and advice are when it comes to Mr. Command, since I am not married to one.
But I can say that MUCH of what she said regarding Mr. Steady and Mr. Visionary were helpful and insightful for me personally. And since this information is based solely on observation, we have the freedom to leave what doesn't apply to us, since it's not based on the Word of God (or what she says the Word of God says).
Woman kept alive in hopes of saving baby
Woman kept alive in hopes of saving baby - Yahoo! News
Wow. How hard on this family. Please be in prayer for them.
Giving Birth at Home Is Safe, Study Shows
FOXNews.com - Health - Giving Birth at Home Is Safe, Study Shows
It's about time!!!
Oh C…..(again!)
Today on the way to C's OT appointment, he was going through lists of rhyming words. All of a sudden he asked me, "Mom? What does 'conferred' mean?"
Where does he GET this stuff????? LOL!!!
Oh C…..
This boy is just too funny. I know someday I'm either going to choke or spit something out because he just says/does stuff that is SO FUNNY.
First thing this morning, I was eating my breakfast. He was behind me, and I heard him jumping. Very fast. And he said, "I'm pretending to jump rope!" Well, a few minutes later he moved in front of me and I got to SEE him. Not only was he jumping, he was doing full arm circles very quickly. I dunno...maybe you had to be there LOL!
Later on, he was writing something (not sure what). And he asked me to help him spell some words. "Sure," I said, expecting him to ask for "dog" or "cat" or something. His word? "Persevere." LOLOL
And then later this evening, we were on our way to (or maybe it was from LOL) the mall (bathing suit shopping for me....eeeewwwwww), and I looked back at him. He had a colander on his head and was bee-bopping around trying to amuse S. LOL!
Love this kid!!!
Created To Be His Help Meet - Chapter 7
A wise woman is always learning. She is open to change. She is ready to hear. She pursues knowledge.
O Lord, help me to become a wise woman.
Mrs. Pearl opens chapter 7 with a letter from Susan, a young mother who desires to bring her children up in the ways of God. Her husband watches certain TV shows and commercials around them. This woman is so distressed because of the damage that these shows are going to do to her children. She wonders if she married the wrong man, she gets very angry with him about this, etc.
Mrs. Pearl replies to her with much wisdom:
Just imagine what it would be like if your husband just disappeared one day - no more bad commercials, no questionable TV, no warm beds, just lots of long, lonely nights and days of toil at a job away from the children. The children will not be with their father watching TV; they will be with a babysitter who is taking care of them for money...The Devil would love to steal your children's souls. He will not do it through your husband's TV; he will do it through your dishonor...I am not suggesting that you should have lower standards. In fact, your husband obviously should have higher standards, but your nagging and criticism have the opposite effect of producing righteousness. Ideally, if you could hold your standards, hold your tongue, and hold your man, in time you might be able to put forth an appeal to him that does not offend.
My flesh tends to try to respond in similar fashion to Susan, especially when I'm tempted to compare my husband to others' husbands. PRAISE GOD He has revealed to me when I start to do this, however, so I'm able to shut it down somewhat quickly most of the time, but it's still a temptation I fight daily.
Mrs. Pearl then shares a letter from a woman who has "been there." Her husband left her. She knows that she cannot answer for her husband's mistakes, but she knows that she made plenty. She shares several situations in which she wishes she would have acted differently.
When my husband acted selfishly at home, allowed his temper to flare, and sometimes said curse words, and then went to church and acted spiritual, I wish I had prayed positively for him instead of withdrawing a little emotionally from him and letting my cynicism and lack of confidence in him be so manifest. I wish I had openly showed love and acceptance of him for himself, not impatiently waited until he acted right.
She shares several other "when" statements such as this. Some I can relate to personally, because I've had the same responses, and others I can't, because I just don't naturally react in the same way. But I know that some women do. Her letter was a good reminder to pray and LET GOD WORK. So many times I think women want to "fix" their husbands and turn them into godly men themselves. We ARE supposed to HELP them along that path (that's what being a help meet is all about!), but the Holy Spirit is the One ultimately in control of the situation. We need to TRUST GOD to work in our husbands' lives. He is even more concerned with our husbands' godliness than we are!
And, truth be known, we're just as ungodly as our husbands most of the time, just in different areas!
My ONE concern with this section is that it appears that this woman (and consequently Mrs. Pearl) is saying that the way she wishes she would have acted in certain situations is THE WAY in which all women should act in similar situations. For example:
When he spent money I thought we didn't have, I wish I had remained quiet and trusted God. I wish I had shown continued confidence in him, regardless of his decision.
"Remaining quiet" isn't automatically the thing to do in all situations. I'm NOT saying that questioning him, treating him like an imbicile, or belitting him is the correct response. But whatever happened to, "Hey sweetie, can we talk about this?" ????? The dynamics in each marriage are so different. So while yes, this woman shared some helpful ideas of what to do in certain situations, this list of ideas is by no means exhaustive. The correct response isn't always as cut and dry as this letter makes it seem.
(I said "appears" earlier because in the "Time To Consider" section on page 74, Mrs. Pearl does give the reader an assignment:
Go back through the previous story called, Alone. Every time you read the word "When," stop and ask yourself, "When my husband acts as her husband acted, do I react as she did?" Write your own new response to each "When." As God to give you the wisdom and courage to follow through on your new commitment.
So it seems that perhaps Mrs. Pearl IS giving room to other acceptable responses to these situations??? It's hard to tell, especially since this is the last paragraph of the chapter and easy to miss. But let's give her the benefit of the doubt.
)Mrs. Pearl discusses what she calls "A New Breed of Women." These are single moms who are stressed to the max, to put it bluntly. She cautions the readers from letting petty self-righteousness on our part ruin our marriage. We may claim that it's "our husband's fault," but we had a part too, with our nagging and critical behavior.
Divorce is never planned, but is almost always preceded by certain avoidable reactive behavior and events. Don't let it happen to you.
I have no doubt that this is often the case. All I have to do is take a look around me and know it's true. However, Mrs. Pearl seems to be saying that if we will only be the right kind of wife for our husband, then he will never leave us. I've known too many women in bad situations to know that that is simply untrue. The pressure that Mrs. Pearl places on the reader (the state of your marriage depends solely on how good of a wife you are) is simply unfair.
She then tells a story of the night she and Mr. Pearl were married. He decided that they needed to go shopping and cook a meal before they went to bed. He picked out some very expensive ground beef, and Mrs. Pearl said, "Don't you think that is priced too high, and wouldn't it be better to buy a cheaper priced meat?" When she saw the bewildered look on his face, she realized that she
must have sounded as though I was patronizing him, speaking to him as if he were a stupid kid, because that is how I felt about what he was doing. I was suddenly shocked at my attitude. What right did I have to treat him like a stupid jerk? How did I know how much money he had? I wasn't even his wife yet, in the biblical sense, yet here I was thinking, "You stupid nincompoop. I wouldn't spend MY money like that!"
If she is warning women to check our attitudes and not think critically of our husbands, then I agree. If she is warning women from ever questioning their husbands PERIOD, then I disagree. She may have been thinking these critical thoughts when she asked her new husband this question, but I can honestly say that had this situation occurred (or one like it!), I would not have been. (I'm not saying I’m "better than" Mrs. Pearl; I'm simply stating that my natural bent is different than hers because we have such different personalities.) I would have assumed that he just didn't see the less expensive meat, or that he wasn't used to grocery shopping or something. I would have given him the benefit of the doubt before jumping into "you stupid jerk" mode! I can't tell by the way Mrs. Pearl words this example if she is saying that all women just need to hush up when faced with similar circumstances, or if she is saying to watch our attitudes. If it is the former, then I think she has made a critical error in assuming that all women have critical thoughts such as hers. Sometimes we are just asking a sincere question!
When I discussed this situation with my husband, he said he has faced something similar. Once he was asking his former boss ("former" because my husband got promoted, not because he lost his job
LOL) some questions, seeking to clarify some things, and his boss got IRATE. His boss felt my husband was questioning his authority, challenging his stance on some things, etc. But my husband was simply ASKING A QUESTION, with no ulterior motive.It's sad that people sometimes jump to conclusions about what others are really saying.
(But I guess this is a bit off topic, isn't it? LOL)The last section in this chapter is entitled, "What Did You Practice Today?" Mrs. Pearl asks the reader:
Were you mad at your husband this week over something he did, like being late, speaking to you rudely, or yelling at the kids? Did you seethe with bitterness and intentionally avoid looking into his eyes so as to express your disdain? You know what I am talking about. You remember the ugliness of your own heart and soul.
Um, no, I do NOT know what she is talking about, because honestly that is not how I think or behave. I do not "seethe with bitterness." I almost never show my anger so that he bends to it "and does better in hopes of escaping your condemnation." (My eyes popped out of my head when I read that LOL!) Whenever something comes up between my husband and me, I personally tend to have a "what in the WORLD??????" thought process going on in my head LOL. That or I'm talking to myself and God and wondering if I do need to say something or not (since my tendency is to NOT say something). Usually I end up not saying anything, it all goes away...for now...and just gets swept under the rug.
Which raises a question...since I haven't read further in the book...I wonder if Mrs. Pearl ever talks about bringing up these concerns to our husbands (in a Biblical manner of course). For LEGITIMATE concerns (not just self-righteous indignation type things that she's been referring to so far), does she differentiate? Perhaps it's because of my personality and my tendency to be ultra-non-confrontational, but I'm concerned about the across-the-board recommendation to stay silent and to never speak up about certain things. Sometimes our thoughts/reasons/etc. aren't the same as what Mrs. Pearl suggests. If they are rooted in bitterness and criticism, then yes, we need to HUSH, but sometimes we might question our husbands out of curiosity or a need for clarification or a desire to be on the same page with him (I'm thinking of her ground beef example...which also struck me as odd since the last thing my husband wanted was to be at the store buying ground beef on our wedding night ROFLOL!!!!!!!). So far I've gotten the impression that she's saying we are to never say anything period, but is that just because I haven't read far enough????
So much of our response (or lack thereof) depends on our thoughts, motives, etc. Which of course brings us full circle once again: We need to be concentrating on ourselves and how our actions/thoughts are pleasing the Lord (or not!), rather than what our husband is doing. Sometimes that may mean stepping up and saying something to our husband, sometimes it may mean staying silent and going with the flow. It's so crucial to remain in the Word so that we can weigh our thoughts against what the whole of Scripture says, so that we can respond in a manner that pleases God!
Page 73:
I know I have been hard on you, but no harder than reality. For a moment, God has broken through your wall of excuses, and you now know you are responsible.
This was somewhat of a bold statement. It assumes that all readers will have had the same thought processes that she has had in similar situations. It assumes that what she claims as "reality" truly IS our reality. It assumes that her admonitions are truly what God wants us to do.
It is a PARTIALLY true statement in that a woman IS partially responsible for the success of her marriage. But the fate of her marriage does not lie solely on her shoulders. I fear for the women who read this book and become falsely burdened, thinking that their husbands don't love them or they don't have a good marriage because they were not good enough wives.
Mrs. Pearl ends the chapter with the statement:
What is God's perfect will for your life? To be a good help meet
Yay, something true.
Although I'm guessing that what she means by that is different from what I mean by that.
A little commercial break
I just wanted to share one of the most important resources to our homeschool. Is it our handwriting curriculum? Well, while I do love it...no. Our Bible curriculum? Again...love it...but no. It is my record-keeping software.
Now, fortunately I live in a state that doesn't require that I turn in our records to anyone, keep grades, etc. But I am not one of those people that can just pick up the materials and say, "OK kids, here's what we're doing today." I also like to be able to look at one thing and know that for next week I'll need to have this library book checked out, some feathers for L's lesson, some large rocks for G's lesson, and a beanbag for C's lesson. I love having a place to see just how many days we have (or have not! Eek!) completed so far this year. And I'm seriously considering giving grades next year, not so much for me and to keep up with their progress, but so that THEY have some sort of way to measure their progress.
Anyway. Enough of my reasons for even wanting a record-keeping program, and on to the program itself:
My most favorite thing is that the basic version is FREE. I have upgraded to the PLUS version, and it is still a steal at $32, with NO YEARLY FEES.
My explanations of all the features and benefits would not do it justice, so check it out for yourself!
Feast Fifty-One
From Friday's Feast: A Buffet for Your Brain:
Appetizer
Name one thing that made you sad this week.
My hubby going out of town for the week.Soup
What was the last object (not person) you took a picture of?
I'm pretty sure it was a birthday cake. I rarely take pictures of objects - usually it's all kids kids kids!Salad
Who do you talk to when you need help in making a decision?
The Lord, but the person "with skin on" that I talk to when I need to make a decision is my husband.Main Course
If you were a weather event, what would you be, and why?
One of those light rain showers that occurs even though the sun is shining, because you aren't really sure I might be feeling/saying in a few minutes. Chances are, I'll still be sunny, but I might get pretty animated and "stormy" too! Dessert
Suggest a website that you think your readers would enjoy visiting.
I've mentioned it before on here, but The Grocery Game.
This is the type of woman I’m talking about
I received this e-mail from a woman who read my blog and the reviews of Created To Be His Help Meet. I have permission to share what she wrote (not including her name, of course). I share her story because it is the PERFECT EXAMPLE of what Mrs. Pearl's book has done to some women.
the first part of Debi Pearl's book bothered me, especially the trash incident. The last half of the book I did enjoy, and have recommended it to many wives.............but I do have many problems with the book too.
Your blog encouraged me because after reading her book I began to feel very inadequate, even more than I did before. Like I wasn't good enough, and I had to worry about these other women who *want my man.* I'm married to a man who has a serious problem with lust, (40 plus years) and as a result it has caused him to have a very low opinion of women. There is nothing I can do, or be, that will please him, or make him love me. And, her book made me feel so inadequate, like it's all my fault, which I know it isn't. At least my head knows it isn't my fault, but my heart doesn't. The truth is, there is nothing I can do, or be that will cause my husband to love me, or want me. It's only GOD who can change his heart, and I know because I've walked this path for almost sixteen years. I did the wrong thing for many years, but in the past several years, the Lord has changed me in many ways, but none of it has caused my dh to love nor want me.
Her book did seem to have a fear aspect to it, I saw that as well. I do agree with what the Bible says about women, and their roles, etc., but not with the way I felt after reading the book.
Thanks for your input about the book.
Then when I asked for permission to share her story, she sent me this:
You are the first person who I've seen say something negative about the book. Aside from your blog, I haven't seen anyone else say anything negative. I don't care for any books that make wives feel like we have to be perfect, and if we aren't there are other women ready to take our dh's away.The Pearls fail to see that only God can change a person's heart, and to put such pressure on a wife to behave perfectly just adds to the feelings of failure she already has.
Now, as I've said, this book may be helpful to some women. I've heard from LOTS who just LOVE it. And that is fine and good! But I'm just wanting to caution women who plan to read it. Just read it with much discernment! There are some good things in it, but there is also lots of bad, so be prepared to do lots of seed-spitting!
Created To Be His Help Meet - Chapter 6
The title of this chapter is "The Beginning of Wisdom."
Psalm 111:10 - The reverent fear and worship of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom
Proverbs 9:10 - The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning (the chief and choice part) of Wisdom
Proverbs 1:7 - The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning and the principal and choice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]Page 57:
Wisdom is conceived in a strange place. It is fathered by fear. Many Christians - even many ministers - are unwilling ot speak of fear. It doesn't sell well with a public that is lustful for pleasure. The commentators try to convince us that biblical fear is just respect for God, not real fear. Their God is like a paper cut-out with only two dimensions. If our actions were without consequence, or if consequences were never painful or permanent, then fear would be foolish. But our actions and reactions do indeed reap painful results in this present life as well as in eternity. We live under a law of sowing and reaping that is as certain and unrelenting as disease and death.
She is so right. The "thing" these days is to downplay what "the fear of the Lord" means. But the word that is translated "fear" in the above passages (and many more!) is Yirah, which means: fear, terror, fearing; fear, terror; awesome or terrifying thing (object causing fear); fear (of God), respect, reverence, piety;
revered. A bit scarier than simple "respect" for God, wouldn't you say? I think that is part of the problem with the Church as a whole these days - we have gotten away from being afraid of God and of His consequences!So as I read the opening of the chapter, I got excited, thinking that - WOO HOO - here will finally be a good chapter. But pretty much what I wrote above is all the good. :-/
Page 58:
Much of what you will read in this book was written to put the fear of God in you. I feel that if I can cause young wives to be aware that there are consequences to their actions, they may turn to God now and start sowing to the spirit, rather than to the flesh.
To me this is saying that this book will show us how to obey God as a wife. If we do not follow what she is putting forth in this book, then we will be "sowing to the flesh." YIKES!!!
Page 58 again:
When a woman gets old and realizes that there is no man to love and cherish her, it is sad indeed, for she has failed in the very purpose for which she was created - to be a suitable helper to a man.
I wonder what some of the godly single women who are in the very center of God's Will for them in their singleness would say to that. Since I'm not single and really never experienced "single life" since I married at 19, I can't speak for them. But while I agree that women were created to be helpers suitable for men (of course - that is what God says!) - to say that if a woman doesn't have a man to love and cherish her, she has failed (!!!) is a bit of a stretch.
And what about those married women whose husbands simply do not love and cherish them? The impression I'm getting from Mrs. Pearl's book is that the wife is to blame for that, and that is just WRONG. There are some godly wives out there married to ungodly men, and they should not be blamed for their husband's wrongdoing. I know that there are marriages that have been turned around because of the wife finally obeying the Lord with regard to her role in the marriage, but the blanket assumption that IF you have a bad marriage it's BECAUSE you aren't fulfilling your role as a wife properly - that is just incorrect and not Biblical.
Mrs. Pearl then goes on to tell how she has attempted to caution older women against their bitterness, but this proved to be futile. And then she realized that these women were already spiraling out of control. But as an older woman herself, the Lord commanded her to teach the YOUNGER women, so that is why she wrote this book. She wanted to warn younger women while they still have the chance to change.
Not that I agree that Mrs. Pearl's advice in this book is 100% Biblical, but I am inspired to make sure that, as a younger woman, I do not grow bitter toward my husband (or anyone else really!). Her comments remind me that I need to remain teachable, even when I get to be an older woman. I'm challenged to not be critical of my husband, even when (IMO) he ain't doin' right. I have my own issues that I need to work on - I don't have time (nor the right!) to work on his too!
Page 59:
I fear God for those women still in the process [of failure], for I know that God is dreadfully faithful to his Word, and when you dishonor his marriage plan, clearly recorded in his Word, he will stand against you while sin eats away your soul and destroys your health. The consequences of sin are always cruel and costly, whether it is the sin of fornication or the sin of neglecting your calling as a help meet.
If she doesn't mean anything beyond what her words state here, then I agree with her. But based on the context of this book, I fear that she implies that her explanations of what "God says in His Word" are what we need to follow so carefully. If we do not do what she says to, then we will be in sin. Does she really mean this? I can't say for sure since it's not very clear just WHAT she means. Obviously to her they are one in the same - what she states in the book equals what God says in His Word. I disagree. I think some of her teachings go BEYOND what God says in His Word. So I cannot call sin what God doesn't call sin.
Page 59 again:
No woman has ever been happy and fulfilled who neglected to obey God in regard to her role as a help meet.
She actually could have left off the last part of that sentence and had a wonderful statement: No woman has ever been happy and fulfilled who neglected to obey God. PERIOD. That INCLUDES being a good help meet to her husband - it doesn't fall into some sort of special category. Of course just what IS a good help meet? That's supposedly what this book is all about, and that is where I have the trouble. She sets forth rules for and characteristics of a "good help meet" that the Bible doesn't. So she seems to be saying that we won't be happy and fulfilled unless we do what she says to in this book. THAT I can't agree with. For some women it may be right on, but for others, it is so far from what they need to do, it's not even funny. My husband has flat out told me NOT to do some of what she recommends...I wonder what Mrs. Pearl would say to do then???
Mrs. Pearl spends the majority of this chapter describing a woman that she knew. The woman was overbearing and "spiritually superior" to her husband (or so she thought). She was always hearing "words from God" and encouraging her husband to "have faith." He was reduced to a spineless man. She became bitter and frustrated because he wasn't "close enough to God." Everything in their lives suffered. Mr. and Mrs. Pearl tried to counsel them, telling the wife that she was disobeying God by taking the lead in the family and being her husband's conscience.
She was totally deceived into thinking that her female intuition, sensitivity, and passions were spirituality. She had no idea that she was a woman in total rebellion against God.
Then one day in the middle of a church service, the woman just lost it and went crazy. Literally. Yelling all kinds of gibberish. Mrs. Pearl states, "God had visited her with madness. He does 'fearful' things like that." In other words, since this woman did not obey God by being her husband's help meet, God made her go crazy.
Now, I am not saying that God doesn't allow consquences to happen to people who disobey His Word. I do agree that this woman was disobeying God. I also agree that there are other couples out there who function in this manner. But the inference that IF you disobey God in such a manner THEN you will go crazy is beyond far-fetched!
I would think that this was just an example of one way that God deals with his disobedient children. But Mrs. Pearl continues, which indicates to me that she IS saying that THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN if we try to act like our husband's spiritual superior. Not only that, but in the last section Mrs. Pearl essentially declares that the cause of menopausal symptoms is bitterness toward one's husband and disobedience in one's role as a help meet:
By the time many women are entering their fortieth year, they are teetering on the edge of mental instability. They have spent several years of their life irritated at their husbands, daily feeling hurt and responding with coldness and bitterness. Instead of practicing being thankful and merry, they are practicing bitterness....In the course of time, as her edginess and moodiness grow, she realizes that she can no longer control her nervousness. One day her "nerves" snap and she loses control, screaming like a crazy woman and calling loved ones terrible names. She will say it was "just a bad hormone day," but the family will wonder. The family learns to tolerate her occasional blow-ups, and she keeps practicing. After a trip to the doctor, she is calmer..."more her old self." The doctor changed her medication.
"Mom sleeps more now."
"Shh! Don't wake up Mother; she is having a bad day."
[this next paragraph is in an ever-increasing font]
The disturbed woman expects her family to appease her and is offended when they act like life is just fine. God is visiting her soul with a terrible rot called madness. First, she is only mad at her husband. Years pass and she is mad at the family. As times goes on she is mad at the Church. Then she is mad at the mailman and mad at the waitress. Practice, always practicing, perfecting her madness. Mad, all the time mad. Madness.
And Mrs. Pearl's Biblical "proof" of this is supposedly Deuteronomy 28:28, "The Lord will smite you with madness and blindness and dismay of [mind and] heart," and Ecclesiastes 10:13, "The beginning of the words of [a fool's] mouth is foolishness, and the end of his talk is wicked madness."
I do want to make very clear that I in NO WAY condone the actions of the crazy lady that Mrs. Pearl talks about. This woman was clearly in disobedience to the Lord, not only within her relationship to her husband, but in other areas as well. In no way do I think it's OK for a woman to grow increasingly bitter toward her husband. I agree that we must practice being thankful and merry - I've experienced that many times those things are habits that we must form over time. I do not think it's OK to lash out at people and then blame hormones or "a bad day" or something like that.
HOWEVER. Mrs. Pearl's insinuation that madness will happen to women who practice bitterness toward their husbands is just ludicrous. Just because God smote SOME with madness as a result of disobedience to Him does not mean that He will smite ALL with madness if they disobey Him. I suspect that the woman in Mrs. Pearl's example had some sort of mental illness FIRST - many times people like that are prone to religiosity and hearing voices ("from the Lord"). And then obviously she just went off the deep end. I'm not saying that IS the case - I'm not a doctor nor was I even there. But it's just very suspicious.
Sigh. So once again the good principles in the chapter were overshadowed by blanket statements that, while aren't blatantly UNbiblical, they are certainly EXTRAbiblical. Yet we are made to believe that these blanket statements are from the Scriptures; therefore, if we do not obey them, we are disobeying God.
