Created To Be His Help Meet - Chapter 10
The title of chapter 10 is "Reactions Define You." Its basic premise is based on Luke 6:45:
The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright (honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks.
(Except of course Mrs. Pearl uses the KJV.
)
Page 100:
Your reactions break you loose from your social inhibitions and manifest who you really are inside and what you really believe at your core level. We lose our carefully preserved "front" when we are pressed beyond calculated thinking. Then, who we really are is made manifest.
In other words, what comes out when you're squeezed is really what is on the inside. Is your "juice" nice and sweet, or is it nasty and rotten? :-/
For me PERSONALLY, this chapter spoke volumes to my heart about my relationship with my children rather than my husband. Even when I'm "squeezed" I tend to not react badly toward my husband, but boy, with my children....*sigh* I have a long way to go.
So just how do we change these reactions and what is on the inside? Page 101:
If you, as a wife, are going to change the way you have been speaking, it is not a matter of willpower; it is a matter of thought power. "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." (Prov. 23:7). You must bring "into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (II Cor. 10:5). "for out of the heart proceed evil thoughts..." (Matt. 15:19). As Paul says, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 2:5). You will be "transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2), not by the strength of your will to hold your tongue. God tells you how to think about your role as wife and help meet. If you believe him, you will think differently.
Mrs. Pearl then goes back to the example of the wife of the CPA turned dairy farmer. When the husband is late to dinner, the wife could sit around and complain and think bitter thoughts. OR she could choose to think thoughts of gratefulness. She could think about how blessed she is to have a husband who desires to be at home with his family rather than at an accounting firm all day. Page 102:
You are what you think, and God tells you how to think: Think the truth. This is not the power of positive thinking; this is the power of the truth as God defines it. You are created to be your husband's helper, not his conscience, not his vocation director, and certainly not his critic.
All of the above is the meat of the chapter, and I found it to be right on the money. Of course I would go even further and say that this is how we are to be thinking IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, not just toward our husbands, but I guess that would stray from the point of the book a bit, wouldn't it?
At the end of the chapter Mrs. Pearl goes back into her "extrabiblical" mode, however. Page 103:
Is much of your life a reaction to real or perceived wrongs? Are you truly as wise as you think? Take the wisdom test below.WISDOM TEST
1. Do you have enough fear of God to not question his Word?
2. Do you sometimes feel God is punishing you by telling you to obey your husband?
3. Would you give God excuses like, "My husband is mean," or, "I am a strong personality, and he is weak"?
4. How would you respond if God gave you directions on how to talk, when not to talk, or how to dress and even wear your hair?
5. Are you comfortable with dismissing the Bible's role for women by saying we live in a different culture?
6. When God says to reverence (meaning, stand in awe of) your husband, do you think that is demanding too much?
7. Will you say, "If God says it, or even suggests it, then that is what I will do"?
This sort of "test" reminds me of polls that are worded in such a way to arrive at particular results. These questions rely upon the assumption that Mrs. Pearl's way is THE Biblical way to be a submissive wife, and that is simply not the case.
But aside from the lame ending, I found this chapter to be convicting and (overall) very true to God's Word.
Lord, change my heart and my thoughts, so that when I am squeezed, only good comes out....

Barbara wrote,
thanks…and i so agree with you about the kids…eeek!
this is what bothers me about the book…it’s the way we ALL should be functioning as CHRISTIANS, not just as wives. I realize she’s speaking to wives about being a Godly wife, but really, all these things are what a growing Christian should be doing, or in the process of learning how to do…isn’t it wrong, if i can be sweet and meek with my hubbyman, and then be a shrew at the playgroup? if how i am in my home isn’t the same as out of my home, then there ’s trouble with my growth as a Christian, and that is the crux of my life…to be Christ’s Bride FIRST, i feel that sometimes Mrs Pearl is putting husbands before God
Link | June 26th, 2005 at 5:56 am
razorbackmama wrote,
Yep, you hit the nail on the head Barbara. If I am loving my neighbor as myself and treating others like God wants me to treat them PERIOD, I will treat my husband like God wants me to since, guess what, my husband is an “other.”
Link | June 26th, 2005 at 4:07 pm
Jennifer wrote,
I am learning alot from this book and your comments.
I agree that Mrs. Pearl does seem to be speaking to women married to the same type of man as HER husband.
But I imagine she would tell me to do things the way my husband wants, so I don’t sweat it when I know my husband and I would disagree w/ her.
Just today I was thinking that I’d love to see the “Husbands love your wives” book!!! LOL I bet it would be similar to CTBHHM.
Because if the husband is always serving the wife and the wife is always serving the husband, then the whole family comes out ahead and God is glorified!!!!
Link | June 30th, 2005 at 12:14 pm
razorbackmama wrote,
“But I imagine she would tell me to do things the way my husband wants, so I don’t sweat it when I know my husband and I would disagree w/ her.”
I don’t sweat it either.
NOW anyway. A few years back I would have done things just like she says to. And I would have had a horrible marriage because of it. 
“Just today I was thinking that I’d love to see the “Husbands love your wives” book!!! LOL I bet it would be similar to CTBHHM.”
Just as long as Mike Pearl doesn’t write it.
I’ve heard there is a set (I think it’s a set anyway) of books by Ken Nair that is really good. I BELIEVE there is one that speaks to the wives and one that speaks to the husbands. Don’t quote me on it though since up until about a month ago I’d never even heard of Ken Nair LOL!
“Because if the husband is always serving the wife and the wife is always serving the husband, then the whole family comes out ahead and God is glorified!!!!”
Exactamundo!
Link | June 30th, 2005 at 12:22 pm
Revka wrote,
I completely understand your concerns that this book should not be applied by all women. BTW, thanks for advising me to read your chapter reviews previous to Chapter 14. Your site had come up in a search, and that was where I sent. My conclusion that you did not believe in a wife’s Biblical submission to her husband was obviously WAY off. Back to the topic, I guess it could be fairly easy to overlook the several times throughout the book when Mrs. Pearl states that you need to do what YOUR husband wants, not what someone else’s wants? I do agree that since this book IS NOT the Bible, it is not going to be universally true and applicable. It appears that the crux of the matter is whether women are going to swallow everything they read because it is by a particular author or if they are going to be willing to search the Scripture for what the Lord specifically says about women and our roles. I know that is my heart’s desire. Having said that, I still find the majority of this book to be based upon Biblically sound principles. There are places where I scratch my head (the madness section is one - still not too sure about that apllication of the word “mad”), but I just disregard those abd do my best to apply those sections that the LORD uses to speak to my heart. Unfortunately, it seems like there are a WHOLE LOT of areas I need to work on!
You definitely are more balanced than appeared from reading the one chapter review.
Link | July 9th, 2006 at 1:37 pm