The title of this chapter is "The Beginning of Wisdom."

Psalm 111:10 - The reverent fear and worship of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom
Proverbs 9:10 - The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning (the chief and choice part) of Wisdom
Proverbs 1:7 - The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning and the principal and choice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]

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Wisdom is conceived in a strange place. It is fathered by fear. Many Christians - even many ministers - are unwilling ot speak of fear. It doesn't sell well with a public that is lustful for pleasure. The commentators try to convince us that biblical fear is just respect for God, not real fear. Their God is like a paper cut-out with only two dimensions. If our actions were without consequence, or if consequences were never painful or permanent, then fear would be foolish. But our actions and reactions do indeed reap painful results in this present life as well as in eternity. We live under a law of sowing and reaping that is as certain and unrelenting as disease and death.

She is so right. The "thing" these days is to downplay what "the fear of the Lord" means. But the word that is translated "fear" in the above passages (and many more!) is Yirah, which means: fear, terror, fearing; fear, terror; awesome or terrifying thing (object causing fear); fear (of God), respect, reverence, piety;
revered. A bit scarier than simple "respect" for God, wouldn't you say? I think that is part of the problem with the Church as a whole these days - we have gotten away from being afraid of God and of His consequences!

So as I read the opening of the chapter, I got excited, thinking that - WOO HOO - here will finally be a good chapter. But pretty much what I wrote above is all the good. :-/

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Much of what you will read in this book was written to put the fear of God in you. I feel that if I can cause young wives to be aware that there are consequences to their actions, they may turn to God now and start sowing to the spirit, rather than to the flesh.

To me this is saying that this book will show us how to obey God as a wife. If we do not follow what she is putting forth in this book, then we will be "sowing to the flesh." YIKES!!!

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When a woman gets old and realizes that there is no man to love and cherish her, it is sad indeed, for she has failed in the very purpose for which she was created - to be a suitable helper to a man.

I wonder what some of the godly single women who are in the very center of God's Will for them in their singleness would say to that. Since I'm not single and really never experienced "single life" since I married at 19, I can't speak for them. But while I agree that women were created to be helpers suitable for men (of course - that is what God says!) - to say that if a woman doesn't have a man to love and cherish her, she has failed (!!!) is a bit of a stretch.

And what about those married women whose husbands simply do not love and cherish them? The impression I'm getting from Mrs. Pearl's book is that the wife is to blame for that, and that is just WRONG. There are some godly wives out there married to ungodly men, and they should not be blamed for their husband's wrongdoing. I know that there are marriages that have been turned around because of the wife finally obeying the Lord with regard to her role in the marriage, but the blanket assumption that IF you have a bad marriage it's BECAUSE you aren't fulfilling your role as a wife properly - that is just incorrect and not Biblical.

Mrs. Pearl then goes on to tell how she has attempted to caution older women against their bitterness, but this proved to be futile. And then she realized that these women were already spiraling out of control. But as an older woman herself, the Lord commanded her to teach the YOUNGER women, so that is why she wrote this book. She wanted to warn younger women while they still have the chance to change.

Not that I agree that Mrs. Pearl's advice in this book is 100% Biblical, but I am inspired to make sure that, as a younger woman, I do not grow bitter toward my husband (or anyone else really!). Her comments remind me that I need to remain teachable, even when I get to be an older woman. I'm challenged to not be critical of my husband, even when (IMO) he ain't doin' right. I have my own issues that I need to work on - I don't have time (nor the right!) to work on his too!

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I fear God for those women still in the process [of failure], for I know that God is dreadfully faithful to his Word, and when you dishonor his marriage plan, clearly recorded in his Word, he will stand against you while sin eats away your soul and destroys your health. The consequences of sin are always cruel and costly, whether it is the sin of fornication or the sin of neglecting your calling as a help meet.

If she doesn't mean anything beyond what her words state here, then I agree with her. But based on the context of this book, I fear that she implies that her explanations of what "God says in His Word" are what we need to follow so carefully. If we do not do what she says to, then we will be in sin. Does she really mean this? I can't say for sure since it's not very clear just WHAT she means. Obviously to her they are one in the same - what she states in the book equals what God says in His Word. I disagree. I think some of her teachings go BEYOND what God says in His Word. So I cannot call sin what God doesn't call sin.

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No woman has ever been happy and fulfilled who neglected to obey God in regard to her role as a help meet.

She actually could have left off the last part of that sentence and had a wonderful statement: No woman has ever been happy and fulfilled who neglected to obey God. PERIOD. That INCLUDES being a good help meet to her husband - it doesn't fall into some sort of special category. Of course just what IS a good help meet? That's supposedly what this book is all about, and that is where I have the trouble. She sets forth rules for and characteristics of a "good help meet" that the Bible doesn't. So she seems to be saying that we won't be happy and fulfilled unless we do what she says to in this book. THAT I can't agree with. For some women it may be right on, but for others, it is so far from what they need to do, it's not even funny. My husband has flat out told me NOT to do some of what she recommends...I wonder what Mrs. Pearl would say to do then???

Mrs. Pearl spends the majority of this chapter describing a woman that she knew. The woman was overbearing and "spiritually superior" to her husband (or so she thought). She was always hearing "words from God" and encouraging her husband to "have faith." He was reduced to a spineless man. She became bitter and frustrated because he wasn't "close enough to God." Everything in their lives suffered. Mr. and Mrs. Pearl tried to counsel them, telling the wife that she was disobeying God by taking the lead in the family and being her husband's conscience.

She was totally deceived into thinking that her female intuition, sensitivity, and passions were spirituality. She had no idea that she was a woman in total rebellion against God.

Then one day in the middle of a church service, the woman just lost it and went crazy. Literally. Yelling all kinds of gibberish. Mrs. Pearl states, "God had visited her with madness. He does 'fearful' things like that." In other words, since this woman did not obey God by being her husband's help meet, God made her go crazy.

Now, I am not saying that God doesn't allow consquences to happen to people who disobey His Word. I do agree that this woman was disobeying God. I also agree that there are other couples out there who function in this manner. But the inference that IF you disobey God in such a manner THEN you will go crazy is beyond far-fetched!

I would think that this was just an example of one way that God deals with his disobedient children. But Mrs. Pearl continues, which indicates to me that she IS saying that THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN if we try to act like our husband's spiritual superior. Not only that, but in the last section Mrs. Pearl essentially declares that the cause of menopausal symptoms is bitterness toward one's husband and disobedience in one's role as a help meet:

By the time many women are entering their fortieth year, they are teetering on the edge of mental instability. They have spent several years of their life irritated at their husbands, daily feeling hurt and responding with coldness and bitterness. Instead of practicing being thankful and merry, they are practicing bitterness....In the course of time, as her edginess and moodiness grow, she realizes that she can no longer control her nervousness. One day her "nerves" snap and she loses control, screaming like a crazy woman and calling loved ones terrible names. She will say it was "just a bad hormone day," but the family will wonder. The family learns to tolerate her occasional blow-ups, and she keeps practicing. After a trip to the doctor, she is calmer..."more her old self." The doctor changed her medication.

"Mom sleeps more now."

"Shh! Don't wake up Mother; she is having a bad day."

[this next paragraph is in an ever-increasing font]

The disturbed woman expects her family to appease her and is offended when they act like life is just fine. God is visiting her soul with a terrible rot called madness. First, she is only mad at her husband. Years pass and she is mad at the family. As times goes on she is mad at the Church. Then she is mad at the mailman and mad at the waitress. Practice, always practicing, perfecting her madness. Mad, all the time mad. Madness.

And Mrs. Pearl's Biblical "proof" of this is supposedly Deuteronomy 28:28, "The Lord will smite you with madness and blindness and dismay of [mind and] heart," and Ecclesiastes 10:13, "The beginning of the words of [a fool's] mouth is foolishness, and the end of his talk is wicked madness."

I do want to make very clear that I in NO WAY condone the actions of the crazy lady that Mrs. Pearl talks about. This woman was clearly in disobedience to the Lord, not only within her relationship to her husband, but in other areas as well. In no way do I think it's OK for a woman to grow increasingly bitter toward her husband. I agree that we must practice being thankful and merry - I've experienced that many times those things are habits that we must form over time. I do not think it's OK to lash out at people and then blame hormones or "a bad day" or something like that.

HOWEVER. Mrs. Pearl's insinuation that madness will happen to women who practice bitterness toward their husbands is just ludicrous. Just because God smote SOME with madness as a result of disobedience to Him does not mean that He will smite ALL with madness if they disobey Him. I suspect that the woman in Mrs. Pearl's example had some sort of mental illness FIRST - many times people like that are prone to religiosity and hearing voices ("from the Lord"). And then obviously she just went off the deep end. I'm not saying that IS the case - I'm not a doctor nor was I even there. But it's just very suspicious.

Sigh. So once again the good principles in the chapter were overshadowed by blanket statements that, while aren't blatantly UNbiblical, they are certainly EXTRAbiblical. Yet we are made to believe that these blanket statements are from the Scriptures; therefore, if we do not obey them, we are disobeying God. :-(