Archive for June, 2005
Created To Be His Help Meet - Chapter 11
(7/15/06 - updated at the bottom)
(This is a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG post, so look out LOL!)
Chapter 11 discusses the nature of man and woman. Page 106:
God created the male s*x with an extra dose of testosterone, which provokes him to want to work hard, conquer everything in his path, and subdue all things.
Guess what! Men and women are different! And guess what else! God created us that way! It is in a man's nature to subdue all things, to conquer, to lead. It's in a woman's nature to, well, NOT. LOL! Some women, trying to make a point, may attempt to do the same things as men, but it's usually for that reason: to make a point. It's not in their NATURE as it is in men's.
One part of woman's nature, unfortunately, is the ease in which we are deceived. Mrs. Pearl discusses this at great length. Page 108:
Vulnerability is a woman's greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness.
Page 109:
Women, in general, give the appearance of being more spiritual than men. *snip* The bottom line is that women "enjoy" their own self-effusing spirituality. It is a feminine trait that few men share or understand. Men can, however, become totally absorbed in their own personal ambitions and, in the process, neglect their "spiritual" side altogether. Women often see this "carnality" in men and assume that women, being more "spiritually" minded, are closer to God - a completely false assumption.
While hungering and thirsting after God and learning more about Him are wonderful things, we must ensure that we are not neglecting His calling for our lives - being a good wife and mother (if He has so blessed us). There is a balance that must be there. And we must remember that our husbands aren't "carnal" just because they aren't as "spiritual" as we are.
OK so that's the jist. But there is a LOT that I have problems with in this chapter. Not so much the content, but there is a LOT of proof-texting, weird theology, etc. This chapter DEFINITELY needs to be read with an open Bible RIGHT THERE.
Page 106:
When Adam was created and placed in the garden, Lucifer, the fallen cherub, was jealous of Adam's position as master of the renewed planet. Lucifer, having become the Devil, had previously made himself the enemy of God and his program. He did not want God to be successful at replenishing the earth. From the very beginning, it was in the Devil's dark heart to lure Adam into disobeying his Creator. Satan would make Adam into the same rebel that he himself had been for such a long time. But Satan did not approach Adam. He waited and waited.When God finished with Adam, he gave him the job of naming all the animals. *snip* His principal job was to dress and keep the garden (Gen. 2:15). So, even before Eve was created, Adam was a full-grown man, firmly rooted in his relationship with God and fully engaged in his life's work.
Adam was alone for a period of time as he attended to his vocation and obeyed the command of his Creator. In going about the task of fulfulling his duties, he became aware of a need that he could not define, even thougth he observed it daily in the male and female behavior of the animals. *snip* In time, God put Adam to sleep and took a rib from his side to make of it a woman to be his helper and to meet his needs.
Satan could have tempted this lonely man at any time, for he had no knowledge of good and evil. But Satan waited - waited for the creation of the weaker vessel. (emphasis mine)
Since I first read this, I have discovered that the Pearls believe in the Gap Theory, which I am not going to delve into here. But suffice it to say that the whole "renewing" and "replenishing" the earth thing bugs me. But what REALLY bothers me is the impression that Mrs. Pearl gives about the length of time between the creation of Adam and the creation of Eve. She makes it sound as though months (or so) had gone by. But Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them." Then Genesis 1:31b says, "And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day." Man and woman were created on the same day.
She also implies that if God had never created Eve, the human race never would have fallen since Satan was waiting around for someone weaker than Adam, since Satan knew that Adam was stronger, being a male creature like himself. Like Satan knew that God would create a female!
Why she has to throw in such weird stuff is beyond me.
Page 107:
The source of Eve's failure was her unwillingness to believe God and her husband.
She was meant to be Adam's helper, but she helped herself to spiritual knowledge and acted independently, becoming his downfall instead of his help meet.
*snip*God had made her by nature to be responsive, and she was trusting and naive. Being willing to rationalize, she could be deceived - having the best of intentions.
I'm with her totally there. And here (page 110):
Nearly all spiritualists, past and present are women. women are the palm readers, crystal ball gazers, fortune-tellers, and tarot card readers. Witches' covens are headed by women. Most mediums (those contacting the dead) are women, as was the witch of Endor whom King Saul consulted concerning long-dead Samuel.
But I have trouble with her "proof":
When Jesus spoke a parable about the kingdom becoming corrupted with false doctrine, he illustrated it with a woman bringing in the corruption (Matt. 13:33)
I went back and read the passage. Jesus is discussing what the kingdom of God is like. I'm assuming (since I have no idea for sure) that Mrs. Pearl claims that this is an example of the kingdom being corrupted because often leaven is considered to be a bad thing. But that explanation doesn't really fit with the context of the passage. (Drat that context, huh?
)Robinson's Word Pictures of the New Testament explains it well:
Curiously enough some people deny that Jesus here likens the expanding power of the Kingdom of heaven to leaven, because, they say, leaven is the symbol of corruption. But the language of Jesus is not to be explained away by such exegetical jugglery. The devil is called like a lion by Peter (1 Peter 5:8) and Jesus in Revelation is called the Lion of the Tribe of Judah (Revelation 5:5). The leaven permeates all the "wheaten meal" (aleurou) till the whole is leavened.
Mrs. Pearl goes on to say that Adam knew better, but since he wanted to keep Eve happy, he went along with her sin and disobeyed God. Yeah, I can see where men do this, but I honestly have no idea if that is what was really going on in Adam's mind, and I find it rather bold for Mrs. Pearl to assume that. She does use several examples as her "proof," however (page 110):
Eve's influence over Adam changed the course of history. We need to be aware of the power we have to seduce our husbands into following us into disregarding the clear objective words of God. Adam, the first man, Samson, the strongest man, Solomon, the wisest man, and even David, the man listed as being after God's own heart, were all brought down by the women they loved.
I was nodding as I read until I got to her statement about David.
2 Samuel 11:2-5:
One evening David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king's house, when from there he saw a woman bathing; and she was very lovely to behold. David sent and inquired about the woman. One said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite? And David sent messengers and took her. And she came in to him, and he lay with her--for she was purified from her uncleanness. Then she returned to her house. And the woman became pregnant and sent and told David, I am with child.
Nowhere does God's Word indicate that Bathsheba was at fault. Oh sure, some will say that it takes two to tango. But I'm sorry, if the king sent for her, what was she going to say..."No"??? Others would argue that she was not being modest when she bathed. I have no idea. No one does since all we have to go by is what God's Word states. David was up on his roof, he looked down and saw Bathsheba bathing, and sent for her to come to him. This example does NOT fit in with the pattern of the other examples that Mrs. Pearl uses to prove her point.
And she DOES have good points intermingled with all of these questionable comments. Page 111:
Men are still allowing women to take the spiritual lead, and women are confidently leading just as Eve did. They believe they are doing what is good for the family. It is not an act of carnal lust. It is a religious act driven by rebellion. Women are simply deceived. This is why God has so carefully taught us ladies to observe and maintain our roles as help meets. It is why we must implicitly trust God's judgment as to our duties, regardless of how we "feel."
It's a vicious cycle. The wife feels the husband isn't leading their family spiritually, at least not to her standards. So she does it instead. Family devotions, choosing a church, etc. He figures, she's doing a fine job; I can just sit back and let her. And it just spirals downward from there. The more the wife leads, the less the husband does. I'm not saying that the wife shouldn't teach her children the Bible or have devotions with them. But she shouldn't have a FAMILY (including the husband) Bible time and attempt to lead HIM in family worship. She needs to pray that the Lord would impress upon her husband's heart to lead his family spiritually, and then she should sit back and wait for him to. She has other things that she needs to do in order to be obedient to God's Word; she doesn't have time to do her husband's job too!
On page 110, Mrs. Pearl points out that in Revelation, it's a woman, typically called Jezebel, who deceives the church. Beginning on page 112, she shares "The Jezebel Profile." It's an abbreviated account of an article that is available online.
Now, I absolutely DO NOT excuse Jezebel's behavior, but Biblically, the "second thing" that Mrs. Pearl observed is a stretch. Page 112:
The second thing I observed was that Ahab was emotionally volatile - unstable. Is your husband prone to retreat? Is he bitter, angry, or depressed? When a woman takes the lead in marriage, her assuming of the masculine role makes a weak man weaker, to the point of "sending him to bed" - as did Jezebel to Ahab.
While yes, it's easy to place the blame on Jezebel (especially since otherwise it would ruin Mrs. Pearl's point), the Bible doesn't actually state that this is the situation. 1 Kings 21:1-4:
NOW NABOTH the Jezreelite had a vineyard in Jezreel, close beside the palace of Ahab king of Samaria; and after these things, Ahab said to Naboth, Give me your vineyard, that I may have it for a garden of herbs, because it is near my house. I will give you a better vineyard for it or, if you prefer, I will give you its worth in money. Naboth said to Ahab, The Lord forbid that I should give the inheritance of my fathers to you. And Ahab [already depressed by the Lord's message to him] came into his house [more] resentful and sullen because of what Naboth the Jezreelite had said to him; for he had said, I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers. And he lay down on his bed, turned away his face, and would eat no food.
Methinks that regardless of what Jezebel did, Ahab would send himself to bed. 1 Kings 16:30-33:
And Ahab son of Omri did evil in the sight of the Lord above all before him. As if it had been a light thing for Ahab to walk in the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, he took for a wife Jezebel daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and served Baal and worshiped him. He erected an altar for Baal in the house of Baal which he built in Samaria. And Ahab made an Asherah [idolatrous symbol of the goddess Asherah]. Ahab did more to provoke the Lord, the God of Israel, to anger than all the kings of Israel before him.
So NOT ONLY did Ahab do horrible things, he also took Jezebel as his wife. While I do realize that Mrs. Pearl doesn't place the full blame on Jezebel, I think she gives her more credit than she's due for Ahab's wickedness.
Mrs. Pearl then contrasts Jezebel with Ruth and Esther. About Ruth she writes:
Read the book of Ruth and see a beautiful example of bold femininity that caused Boaz to love and admire her. Take note of her humility and the deference she paid to all in authority. Note her willingness to work and her willing obedience to the Scriptural teaching of her aged mother-in-law, Naomi. And lastly, see the wonderful blessing God showered on her in placing her into the lineage of his only begotten Son.
(I had the opportunity to do a Bible study on the book of Ruth a few years back. My main purpose in getting involved was to meet some other women in a new church we were attending. I thought, "Oh, the book of Ruth. How nice." That study KICKED MY HINEY. It's a video study by Nancy Leigh Demoss, and it is just powerful. I HIGHLY recommend it!!!)
Mrs. Pearl writes about Esther:
She was put (by her husband's decree) in danger of losing her own life and the lives of all her people, the Jews. Yet, she rose above her circumstances and her natural fear to honor her husband, even as she made an appeal to save her own life, along with the lives of her people.
One key word is in those sentences: appeal. If Esther had NOT appealed to her husband...well, let's not even go there.
Mrs. Pearl then discusses the virtuous woman, as described in Proverbs 31. Page 114:
She is NOT a mousy, voiceless prude. She is confident, hardworking, creative, and resourceful. Her first virtue is that the heart of her husband is safe with her. That is, he can trust her with his thoughts and feelings, never fearing that she might use the private knowledge she has of him to hurt him in any way.
I know exactly what she is talking about. How many times have you heard women speak ill of their husbands? Especially in the name of "please pray for my carnal husband"? And hoo nelly! We women sure can gossip - especially about our husbands! Now, I'm not saying that we can't ever talk to other women about our husbands or that we shouldn't go to other women for advice. But we must BE CAREFUL. We must take care to still honor and show respect to our husbands.
Continuing on page 114:
If this passage in Proverbs had been written from our modern perspective, it would have extolled her for having a "quiet time" and being a "prayer warrior," teacher, or counselor. In all the Scriptural profiles of righteous women, including Proverbs 31, no such concepts are ever mentioned. In our culture, we have lost a clear understanding of what constitutes a virtuous woman. We have accepted the modern idea of the "spiritual" woman circulating in the realm of religious power, and have forgotten that God does not see them in this same "glorious" light. What we think is spiritual, God labels "Jezebel." "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD" (Isaiah 55:8). A woman working beside her man is a spiritual force for them both. A woman providing good s*x and fun company is offering her husband a spiritual benefit. A woman preparing healthy meals and cutting the grass so he can go fishing on Saturday is a spiritual woman, because she is placing him above herself. There is no greater love than to put another first.
This is great advice, but not only for wives. It is applicable to ALL CHRISTIANS, both men and women, married and unmarried. All throughout Scripture we are admonished to put our faith to work. Our actions will show how "spiritual" we truly are. James 2:14-26:
What is the use (profit), my brethren, for anyone to profess to have faith if he has no [good] works [to show for it]? Can [such] faith save [his soul]?If a brother or sister is poorly clad and lacks food for each day,
And one of you says to him, Good-bye! Keep [yourself] warm and well fed, without giving him the necessities for the body, what good does that do?
So also faith, if it does not have works (deeds and actions of obedience to back it up), by itself is destitute of power (inoperative, dead).
But someone will say [to you then], You [say you] have faith, and I have [good] works. Now you show me your [alleged] faith apart from any [good] works [if you can], and I by [good] works [of obedience] will show you my faith.
You believe that God is one; you do well. So do the demons believe and shudder [in terror and horror such as make a man's hair stand on end and contract the surface of his skin]!
Are you willing to be shown [proof], you foolish (unproductive, spiritually deficient) fellow, that faith apart from [good] works is inactive and ineffective and worthless?
Was not our forefather Abraham [shown to be] justified (made acceptable to God) by [his] works when he brought to the altar as an offering his [own] son Isaac?
You see that [his] faith was cooperating with his works, and [his] faith was completed and reached its supreme expression [when he implemented it] by [good] works.
And [so] the Scripture was fulfilled that says, Abraham believed in (adhered to, trusted in, and relied on) God, and this was accounted to him as righteousness (as conformity to God's will in thought and deed), and he was called God's friend.
You see that a man is justified (pronounced righteous before God) through what he does and not alone through faith [through works of obedience as well as by what he believes].
So also with Rahab the harlot--was she not shown to be justified (pronounced righteous before God) by [good] deeds when she took in the scouts (spies) and sent them away by a different route?
For as the human body apart from the spirit is lifeless, so faith apart from [its] works of obedience is also dead.
Page 115:
Dominance and control are always masculine characteristics. It is important for a woman to understand that she must be feminine (devoid of dominance and control) in order for her man to view her as his exact counterpart, and thus willingly respond to her protectively, with love and gentleness.
I'm not saying that a woman should dominate her husband, but the cause and effect that Mrs. Pearl states here isn't applicable in every marriage. I have known far too many women who need protection FROM THEIR HUSBANDS, despite how "feminine" they were.
Continuing on page 115:
A woman who criticizes her husband for watching too much TV, playing too much golf, or indulging in any frivolous activity is expressing dishonor. When the relationship is properly balanced, a wife can make an appeal at the right time and in the right manner, and it need not be a challenge to his authority. We will speak of how to make an appeal in due course. [I'm so glad she mentions this, and I look forward to that chapter!
I do wonder though...what does she recommend when the relationship is NOT properly balanced, through no fault of the wife's? I hope she explains further.] But know of a certainty that when a woman continually tries to assert her own will against her husband's, throwing it up to him that he is wrong, she is usurping authority over him, lording over him, and dishonoring him. A woman who continues in this behavior blasphemes the Word of God and can expect God's sure "reward."I say again: when a woman steps outside her nature and assumes the dominant role, she will soon become emotionally and physically exhausted.And I say again, it all boils down to humbling yourself, being willing to serve, treating others with kindness and love, etc. The person you're directing these actions toward just happens to be your husband.
And as for being exhausted...boy I'm glad I'm not assuming the dominant role 'cuz I'm already exhausted!!! Seriously though, while what Mrs. Pearl says is true, it can also be exhausting (and not necessarily freeing as Mrs. Pearl suggests) to be continually bending over backwards trying to please an unpleasable husband. I'M NOT SAYING THAT WOMEN IN THOSE SITUATIONS HAVE A "RIGHT" TO BE UNSUBMISSIVE. But Mrs. Pearl continually gives the impression that if you are submissive enough then your husband will love, protect, and cherish you. That simply isn't the case. For women in those situations I say, Just keep on keeping on. Serve Jesus by serving your husband. Show him love. Confront him IN LOVE when NECESSARY. But don't get your hopes up that he'll change by what you are doing. Only God can change his heart.
Still more from page 115:
A man cannot cherish a strong woman who expresses [there actually was a typo here - one of many in this book
] her displeasure of him. You say that he should model Christ's love regardless of how she acts. Is that what you want? Is it what Christ wants?Um, yes, it is what Christ wants and expects out of a husband. BUT He also wants and expects a wife to show her husband respect despite how he acts. The door swings both ways, and neither spouse gets off scot free, able to just live it up however he/she wants.
From "Time to Consider" on page 116:
God placed man in the position of HEAD of the family, not because he is wiser or more capable, but because it is part of God's eternal design.
In discussing all of this with my head, er, my husband (hee hee), he pointed out that it's not about who is "in charge" and "in command" and all that. What it boils down to is that the husband is the one with the responsibility for making the final decision in situations. The wife can and should still have input, but the husband is the one with this somber responsibility and is the one that will have to answer to God for the actions (or inaction) of his family.
When people think of your familiy, do they see your husband as the principal player, or do they think of you as the main character? Would they refer to your family as "Cathy's family"or as "John's family?"
I'm sorry, but that's a pretty lame "test." It all depends on which spouse they know better. I have friends who would probably call us "Kirstin's family" simply because, HELLO, they are MY friends. My husband has friends that would call us "Bobby's family." It has nothing to do with who is "in charge." What if they simply call us "The Smiths"? (not my real last name LOL) GASP - would that mean that no one is the head of our family????
Is your desire toward your husband? Do you live to please him? Or, do you expect him to live up to your convictions and whims? Do you spend your days in angry frustration over his unwillingness to change to your specifications? If so, you have become a Jezebel.
This isn't necessarily right on the mark either. We should live to please Christ. We do so by serving others. That does include our husband. It includes our neighbor. It includes our children. If we are spending our days in "angry frustration," then that is sinful PERIOD, no matter WHOM it is directed toward. No, we should not be expecting our husbands to change to our specifications, but that's because no matter whom we are dealing with, IT AIN'T ABOUT US, so we have no right to demand change from someone just to suit our selfishness.
*sigh* I've said it before and I'll say it again: The information she is presenting is good...to a POINT. It's presented in such a way that it's easy to say, "Hm sounds good but there's something slightly off" and hard to actually put a finger on just WHAT is "off," since she isn't saying anything blatantly unbiblical. (Unless you count proof-texting as unbiblical.
)And it all boils down to treating others as you would like to be treated. Serving others. Showing love to others. If you are doing this PERIOD, you'll do it to your husband, and books like this one will be unnecessary.
Update 7/15/06: A reader e-mailed me and informed me that in her edition of CTBHHM, on page 107, the 1st full paragraph has excluded the word daily when Mrs. Pearl describes Adam's life as he was waiting for Eve. This does make somewhat of a difference...I think. The phrases "for a period of time" and "going about the task of fulfilling his duties" and then later, "In time, God put Adam to sleep," do still make it sound like a longer period than a day. But it is better than what my copy says, that Adam was around for at LEAST several days before Eve was created.
I still have several problems with this chapter, but I just wanted to update with this new information I've received. This is the second difference I've learned about between my edition (Copyright 2004, First Printing: 2005) of the book and later editions. I'm guessing there are more, but I'm not going to go through a current edition to find them all LOL!
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Created To Be His Help Meet - Chapter 10
The title of chapter 10 is "Reactions Define You." Its basic premise is based on Luke 6:45:
The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright (honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks.
(Except of course Mrs. Pearl uses the KJV.
)Page 100:
Your reactions break you loose from your social inhibitions and manifest who you really are inside and what you really believe at your core level. We lose our carefully preserved "front" when we are pressed beyond calculated thinking. Then, who we really are is made manifest.
In other words, what comes out when you're squeezed is really what is on the inside. Is your "juice" nice and sweet, or is it nasty and rotten? :-/
For me PERSONALLY, this chapter spoke volumes to my heart about my relationship with my children rather than my husband. Even when I'm "squeezed" I tend to not react badly toward my husband, but boy, with my children....*sigh* I have a long way to go.
So just how do we change these reactions and what is on the inside? Page 101:
If you, as a wife, are going to change the way you have been speaking, it is not a matter of willpower; it is a matter of thought power. "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." (Prov. 23:7). You must bring "into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (II Cor. 10:5). "for out of the heart proceed evil thoughts..." (Matt. 15:19). As Paul says, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 2:5). You will be "transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2), not by the strength of your will to hold your tongue. God tells you how to think about your role as wife and help meet. If you believe him, you will think differently.
Mrs. Pearl then goes back to the example of the wife of the CPA turned dairy farmer. When the husband is late to dinner, the wife could sit around and complain and think bitter thoughts. OR she could choose to think thoughts of gratefulness. She could think about how blessed she is to have a husband who desires to be at home with his family rather than at an accounting firm all day. Page 102:
You are what you think, and God tells you how to think: Think the truth. This is not the power of positive thinking; this is the power of the truth as God defines it. You are created to be your husband's helper, not his conscience, not his vocation director, and certainly not his critic.
All of the above is the meat of the chapter, and I found it to be right on the money. Of course I would go even further and say that this is how we are to be thinking IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, not just toward our husbands, but I guess that would stray from the point of the book a bit, wouldn't it?
At the end of the chapter Mrs. Pearl goes back into her "extrabiblical" mode, however. Page 103:
Is much of your life a reaction to real or perceived wrongs? Are you truly as wise as you think? Take the wisdom test below.WISDOM TEST
1. Do you have enough fear of God to not question his Word?
2. Do you sometimes feel God is punishing you by telling you to obey your husband?
3. Would you give God excuses like, "My husband is mean," or, "I am a strong personality, and he is weak"?
4. How would you respond if God gave you directions on how to talk, when not to talk, or how to dress and even wear your hair?
5. Are you comfortable with dismissing the Bible's role for women by saying we live in a different culture?
6. When God says to reverence (meaning, stand in awe of) your husband, do you think that is demanding too much?
7. Will you say, "If God says it, or even suggests it, then that is what I will do"?This sort of "test" reminds me of polls that are worded in such a way to arrive at particular results. These questions rely upon the assumption that Mrs. Pearl's way is THE Biblical way to be a submissive wife, and that is simply not the case.
But aside from the lame ending, I found this chapter to be convicting and (overall) very true to God's Word.
Lord, change my heart and my thoughts, so that when I am squeezed, only good comes out....
Congratulations Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar!
Duggars to welcome baby number 16
(It's at times like this I wish we had cable LOL!)
Created To Be His Help Meet - Chapter 9
Page 94:
From the beginning, God meant for us to be a comfort, a blessing, a reward, a friend, an encouragement, and a right-hand wo-man.
The title of Chapter 9 is "Finding Your Life in His," and the chapter is summed up in Mrs. Pearl's question to us on page 99:
Is it God's will for your husband to adapt to you, or is it God's will for you to adapt to him?
Once again, the principle is a good, Biblical one, but the application that Mrs. Pearl advocates goes BEYOND what the Bible says and burdens the reader with extrabiblical requirements.
She begins the chapter with an extreme example (*sigh* as usual) of a movie she saw once. The woman was patronizing and controlling of the man, and when she was hospitalized, he came out of his shell. But what he was remembering was totally make-believe. As it turns out, what was all in his head were things that he really would have preferred to do, but because of her controlling nature, he never fulfilled those dreams. All he had left was his imagination.
Well, of course, in this example, it's clear to see that she was in the wrong. But how many marriages are truly like this?
Mrs. Pearl then shares a letter that ALMOST could have come from me LOL! This woman's husband is a CPA, but they have been praying for years for a way for him to be able to have a business and stay at home. He has decided to be a dairy farmer. Well, she doesn't want that! And so now she is complaining.
It is not my dream. There was no talk of farming 22 years ago!
Mrs. Pearl responds on page 96:
Donna's concept of marriage is all wrong, not at all like God's intention for marriage. God didn't create Adam and Eve at the same time and then tell them to work out some compromise on how they would each acheive thier personal goals in a cooperative endeavor. He created Adam, gave him an occupation, appointed him as ruler of the planet, endowed him with a spiritual outlook, gave him commands, and specified his occupational duties. Adam commenced his rule of the planet before God created Eve to help him in his life's goals. Adam didn't need to get Eve's consent. God gave her to Adam to be HIS helper, not his partner. She was designed to serve, not to be served, to assist, not to veto his decisions.
I asked my husband about this, and he simply said, "But I would be foolish to not listen to your input."
And that is exactly right. It's not about the wife telling the husband what he needs to do with his life. It's also not about her throwing a hissy fit when he does something that she really doesn't care to do. It IS about her adapting to him, since God's Word clearly states that the husband is the head of the family.
HOWEVER, God's Word does NOT say that the husband is free to just do his own thing, completely ignoring any input his wife may have. Sometimes the wife has information that the husband may not have. And what if the husband doesn't know and therefore doesn't ask his wife for input? She should be free to give it anyway. Ultimately the decisions affecting the family are still up to him, but as my wise husband put it, the husband would be a fool to not consider his wife's opinions, input, experience, etc.
Page 97:
God made us women to be help meets, and it is in our physical nature to be so. It is our spiritual calling and God's perfect will for us. It is the role in which we will succeed in life, and it is where we will find our very greatest fulfillment as a woman and as a saint of God.
Once again, a true statement, but in the context of the chapter, Mrs. Pearl seems to forget or ignore some things:
1 - A help meet isn't necessarily someone who bows to her master's every command. A help meet HELPS her husband. MOST OF THE TIME that means that we bend over backwards to please our husbands and to serve them. (We are to love our neighbors as ourselves, after all, and our husbands are our neighbors.) But sometimes that means saying, "Hey sweetie, we may want to think about this a little more." Sometimes it means refusing to participate in something. Sometimes it means letting him suffer the consequences of his sin or foolishness.
2 - Just because the husband wants to do xyz doesn't mean that that is what he really should be doing. What if he is wanting to do something that disobeys God and what HE has planned for the husband (and consequently his family)?
Although perhaps Mrs. Pearl believes that what the husband plans equals God's Will because also on page 97 she states
When we fight God's will and our husband's dreams, we are frustrated and disappointed.
I have no idea if that is what she is truly saying, but it sure sounds that way.
I wholeheartedly agree that it's not all about us wives. But guess what? It's not all about them husbands either. (But since this is a book geared toward discussing the wife's role, I will only speak on that.)
The last paragraph on page 97, when taken on its own, is fabulous:
Life is full of choices. How you choose to respond will help decide your fate in life. Life is now. Learn to really enjoy taking out the trash or milking a cow. You will be amazed at how God will fill you full of himself. You will look back in your "happy" old age and rejoice at your lot in life and wonder how you could have ever been a long-faced sad sack. Someday people will say to you, "Your personality is just a happy type, and that is why you enjoy life. Isn't that right?" You can laugh and know that being in God's will is the only thing that makes you full of joy. God is not looking for happy women to make them into help meets for good men. He is looking for women willing to be true help meets to the men to whom they are married, so He can fill them full of joy.
Sometimes we DO just have to suck it up, CHOOSE joy, and pray that God would fill us fuller of joy. That goes for anything...not just in a decision that our husband makes. Many times, as wives, we WILL just follow along and go with the flow that is our husband's life and adjust to that. (I've done that many a time!
) But Mrs. Pearl's teaching that a help meet has absolutely no say or choice in the matter, no matter what, goes beyond what the Bible actually teaches.
Feast Fifty-Three
From Friday's Feast: A Buffet for Your Brain:
Appetizer
What time do you usually wake up each day? If you could choose your wake-up time, when would it be?
Sigh. On a good day I wake up around 6:30 (when I'm supposed to). On a bad day (because it's been a bad night), I might wake up around 7:30. I wish I could get up around 7:30-8 everyday, but c'mon, YEAH RIGHT. Soup
When was the last time you bought groceries? What store did you go to? Name 3 things you purchased.
2 Tuesdays ago at Albertson's. I bought milk, cereal, and chicken pot pies.Salad
How many books have you read so far this year? Which was your favorite and why?
Oh my. Um. Maybe 3-4??? Revelation by Beverly Lewis was my favorite. Why? LOL it's just good! (Who knew the Amish could be so fascinating???)Main Course
What is something you consider to be very elegant? In particular, what about that item/place/person conjures up the feeling of elegance?
A limo. I think just the thought of not having to drive for oneself is somewhat elegant LOL!Dessert
Who taught you how to drive?
Mostly my dad, but somewhat my mom and my driver's ed teacher.
some guy named robb
I have basically only one high school friend that I keep in touch with on a semi-regular basis. Wait...no I have 2, but I guess that would mess up this story somewhat LOL. Anyway. My friend Robb stuck by me through thick and thin (LOL I used to be thin and now I'm much thicker
), and he has seen the good and the bad and the ugly in me. We knew each other when we didn't have a clue, and now we know each other as brother and sister in Christ. He is one of my DEAREST friends.But not only that - he is a FANTASTIC musician. He has put out several albums and, GET THIS, he actually makes a living with his music. (My guess is that he'd say his main job is to be a husband and daddy though - his little boy is just a couple months older than my youngest.
) Mostly he does local gigs around Arkansas and surrounding states, but I'm trying to get him to tour the Northwest. Check out his website. There is a section on there where you can supposedly listen to his music online, but when I tried it the other day, I got a "file not found" error. I e-mailed him about it but haven't heard back. But keep checking. I've gotten it to work in the past!
I've been telling him for YEARS (like, since before he put out his first album) that he's supposed to be writing a song about his friend Keer, but he hasn't yet.
And if you happen to live near a place he performs, go check him out and tell him I sent ya.
Childhood Memories Tag
(First of all...golly I've been blogging a lot while my hubby is gone. Can we say BORED?????? I probably would have last night too, but we were without power for about 2 hours due to a windstorm! Maybe I can get to a chapter in CTBHHM tonight....?)
Thanks Holly for tagging me!
5 Things I Miss About Childhood:
1. My Opa. He was my dad's mom's dad, so my great-grandfather. He only spoke German. Well, he knew 2 English words: More wine (but it came out "More vine"). LOL! He was extremely gentle, and THE most athletic person I knew. He was hiking in the Alps, cross-country skiing, etc. well into his late-70s. He smoked a pipe, and as much as I dislike cigarette smoke, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the smell of pipe smoke because it reminds me of him.
2. I used to love going to my dad's parents' house. My grandpa was the Boy Scout Camp director for, well, EVER (LOL), and they lived on the camp. So especially during the summer, when we'd go visit we could go swim in their HUGE pool, go to the mess hall (with the industrial-sized Kitchen Aid mixer that sat on the floor it was so big LOL), go to the trading post, etc.
3. I miss not having to take care of people 24/7 LOL!!!
4. I miss all the great cartoons that used to be on. Now there isn't much to choose from (on non-cable programming anyway)
5. I miss having time to read as much as I wanted to.
The rules:
Remove the first person from the following list, bump everyone up one spot and put your name in the number 5 spot. Please link all of the blogs as they are linked now or risk future blog-shunning. (Do you think this would really happen?)
Shades of Pink
Mommy Brain
Journaling Through the Valley
Threefold Cord
Keer "Unplugged"Now, select four unsuspecting souls and add them to the list...
My Rambly Scrambly Thoughts Blog
random wonderings and wanderings
compulsive compositions
Red-headed rants and rambles
Who needs public school?
Just WHAT is the big deal about proper socialization??? My kids are getting socialized just fine, and here is proof:
G came home from church Sunday, having learned how to make fart noises in his arm pit.
World’s Shortest Quiz
((stolen from vgarr...))
Please leave a one-word comment
that you think best describes me.
It can only be one word. No more.
Then copy and paste this into your journal
so that I may leave a word about you...
I’m copying my friend Kelli :-)
Today is her anniversary, and she posted a sweet blog about her hubby at LoneStarHomeSchool.
And now I'm going to steal her idea.
10 Things I Love About My Husband
(in no particular order except how they actually come to me)
1. He loves the Lord and strives to follow Him in everything.
2. He is THE HARDEST worker I've ever known personally (except he sure does make me look like a lazy bum LOL!).
3. He does dishes, laundry, etc.
4. He can do a mean Yoda impersonation.
5. He loves babies.
6. He is awesome when the kids are sick (which is great since I'm not!).
7. He does SUCH a good job at work. I'm amazed at how good he is at his job.
8. If he didn't actually have to earn a living LOL, he would love to be home with us and be a full-time SAHD.
9. He is a great cook.
10. He told me I look skinnier the other day.
Meet my Marketing Director
I think most of you have found my blog via a post of some sort by my friend Kelli. Once she started linking to my blog (which I did not tell her to do - I don't mind, but I didn't put her up to it LOL), my traffic jumped IMMENSELY. So much so that my husband and I laugh about it. Because if you knew me, you'd know that I typically would NOT have this sort of traffic ROFLOL!!!!! So thank you Kelli!
