Chapter 4 begins with the heading of "My Jolly Playmate." I think that is what this section was about, since I can see glimpses of it, but there was a lot more involved to the story Mrs. Pearl shares. She tells of a time when her husband was acting all macho and took the trash out for her. He normally does not take the trash out at all. She went with him, carrying something else, and when they got to the dumpster, he threw the bag at the dumpster, very macho-like. The bag broke, sending trash everywhere. Instead of helping to pick it up, he slinked off, embarrassed. (And left her to clean it up.)

Some other time, he had the opportunity to re-prove his manliness, so he took the trash out again. Just as he got to the dumpster and was throwing it, she screamed at him through a window to scare him. He came running, and she acted all innocent. Then he swooped her up and carried her to the bedroom. She goes on with story, but I'll stop. ;-)

She then expounds on how we are to be each other's playmate. Some quotes I found enjoyable:
Page 42:

laughter always makes life easier to climb

Page 43:

We have learned that all of life is fun and needs to be shared with our best friend, playmate, and lover. This, then, is the rule of life for wives: Live with thanksgiving, forgiveness, and joy, and enjoy all your moments as if they were your last. Someday, soon enough, they will be.

In the last section of the chapter, she encourages women that their past does not have to be their future. Jesus loves us, NO MATTER WHAT our past is like. We can start fresh today. Page 47:

The message to you is simple. From this day forth, starting right now - today - be the woman who honors, obeys, and loves Jesus, by honoring your husband.

So ultimately this chapter was about thanksgiving. We need to not take our husbands for granted - we must be THANKFUL for them. We must be thankful for what Christ has done for us.

The PRINCIPLES she shares and is imparting to us in this chapter, I am SO on board with, and I agree totally. However, my fear is that those who read this book will take Mrs. Pearl's examples and think that this is how this principle is always fleshed out, and that can be dangerous. (And I have been a woman who has tried to apply the "method" as much as the principle, so I do know that some women do this.)

I'll be honest. The trash scenario bothered me. I even had my husband read it to see what he thought. For one, he couldn't quite figure out what Mrs. Pearl's POINT was, since the section was on how we need to be our husband's playmate, yet this example contained so much more than that. He did think it was rude of Mr. Pearl, and we discussed how that is just so not like him at all. But it doesn't matter so much what our husbands do (to a point) but what our response is.

I can honestly say that IF my husband had done that (or something of that nature), I wouldn't be so much angry as I would be hurt. Mostly because that is SOOOO out of character for him. For my husband to make a huge mess (not just an ordinary mess like we all make, but a Real Mess) and then just LEAVE me to pick it up would be incredibly cruel to me, and THAT is what would hurt - that my husband did something cruel to me. The trash wouldn't be the Real Issue at all.

Now, would that give me the right to stew about it, feel sorry for myself for having such a "mean husband," pout, grumble as I picked up the trash, etc.?
ABSOLUTELY NOT! But it also doesn't mean that I wouldn't be able to go to my husband say, "Hey honey, you know, when you left me to clean up the trash, that really hurt." And then TALK ABOUT IT. My husband would need to know that that hurt my feelings. I'd need to know that he was just so embarrassed he had to be alone right then. Etc. My fear is that a woman might read this section and think that it's OK for a husband to do something hurtful and for the wife to suppress any sort of hurt feelings and never let her husband into her heart, for fear of being "unsubmissive." You can be submissive AND HONEST.

Also, there are times when in order to be a GOOD help meet, a wife may need to let something go. She could easily do something for her husband, to "fix it," but if this is an ongoing pattern, perhaps the best way to be a good help meet is to let it go and let the chips fall where they may, rather than fixing it. So many times in the name of "being submissive" a woman ends up taking the responsibility for her husband's sin, and that is not Biblical submission. It's a tough call as to how this actually looks, since we all have different personalities, our husbands have different personalities, the situations are different, etc. There have been some things I've done to be a true HELP MEET to my husband that many would consider "unsubmissive" (and in other marriages WOULD be unsubmissive!). But I know without a doubt that my actions were Biblical and exactly what God wanted me to do, and in no way was I being Biblically unsubmissive. (I've learned the hard way that there is a difference between submissive and BIBLICALLY submissive. :-()

My concern is that women will take Mrs. Pearl's METHOD and turn it into a universal truth, since that is how it is presented. But since we are all SO DIFFERENT, to do so can be detrimental to a marriage. The PRINCIPLES she shares in this chapter (be thankful, be your husband's playmate, etc.), ARE universal truths, but how it is actually played out in each marriage will vary so widely. The way that Mrs. Pearl has written this book, it appears that that is what she is saying too - that her method is the way the principle is played out. Period. That isn't the case, and I'm fearful that there are women out there who are like what I used to be like and who will not realize that it's not the case.